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    Queen Elizabeth will skip the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla to avoid condoning adultery. The ceremony will take place in a registry office. The Bill Clinton Presidential Library must be booked two months ahead for this kind of thing.

    ~Argus Hamilton

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    Alan Greenspan and the Federal Reserve are expected to raise interest rates for the seventh straight time today. Greenspan says the latest hike will keep inflation down, buoy the stock market, and finally convince middle class Americans that nobody actually gives a damn about them.

    ~Jake Novak

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    The newly elected Iraq assembly has convened. Its members pledged to uphold the highest ethical standards. In our Congress, that's what you
would call "leading off with a good joke."

    ~Alan Ray