Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Substance in would-be-terrorist's Draws not Explosives

An FBI spokesman has recently reported that the substance found in Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's underwear wasn't an explosive substance as previously believed. "Apparently Umar's plan to light himself ablaze was going according to schedule as all the American passengers on flight 253 ran away from him as if there would have been a safe spot on a burning plane in mid air. What Mr.Abdulmutallab hadn't counted on was that there would be a Dutch passenger onboard who hasn't been pussified by decades of the womanization of education, toys, sports, movies, television, and political correctness."

Another FBI spokeman added, "we've determined that Umar got a little more than snot beat out of him that Christma... I mean, Holiday morning!"

It's not clear yet whether Jasper Schuringa will be charged for assault and battery by Detroit officials.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

PETA Protests Disrupt Cash for Clunkers Deals

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

Just days after Congress replenished the federal 'cash for clunkers' program with another $2 billion in taxpayer funding, several car dealers around the nation reported that protesters from PETA — People for the Ethical Treatment of Automobiles — have attacked and disrupted their attempts to close sales under the program.

PETA activists reportedly expressed their alarm at "the wanton destruction of the defenseless" by showing up at dealerships clothed in little more than bumper stickers and fuzzy dice, and by calling for a presidential pardon for some 750,000 operational vehicles that already face "annihilation by compression".

READ THE REST AT The Washington Examiner


    If I were OBusha I would be sounding the siren over Swine Flu, running around telling everyone it's worse than Globaloney and that we need to use tax dollars to convert every town hall into a mass funeral pyre in case the "special scientists" that I have working on it don't come up with a vaccination. Then when fall comes and goes and no more people get it than regular flu I can throw my hands up in the air declaring victory and have my sycophants broadcast on the airwaves how I saved America and on and on and on until re-election.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Fw: Finally, error messages I can understand!!!!!!

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, August 09, 2009 10:43 AM
Subject: Finally, error messages I can understand!!!!!!















__________ NOD32 4318 (20090808) Information __________

This message was checked by NOD32 antivirus system.

__________ NOD32 4318 (20090808) Information __________

This message was checked by NOD32 antivirus system.

Monday, June 29, 2009







    Environmentalists say that living naked for a few hours a day will help save the earth. Somebody please keep this information away from Al Gore.
    ~Craig Ferguson



Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program

Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal

This is the first step for every liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you're not "progressive", "moderate", or "enlightened". You're a liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts

Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hilllary Clinton, and CNN to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on "feelings" or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can't be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America

This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class

A Socialist is defined as someone who's never taken an economics class. Most Socialists have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It's time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say "no" to Communism and Socialism

While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil

If you're reading this article on-line or in an email, it's thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a nonprofit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The nonprofit sector and the government wouldn't have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn't equate to "greed" or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world's history. Even communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient

If you are one of those liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary's socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your "mother", and she's not dying

The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobacco

Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you'll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger

If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You'll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Nazi propaganda hailed Adolf Hitler as a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history

It's now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist idiot, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn't create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter was once a nice man but no longer, and has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary

Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming liberalism, it's time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you. Congratulations, and welcome to reality.

    At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosphy of sniveling brats. 
    ~P.J. O'Rourke

Sunday, June 14, 2009

North Korean Information Minister denounces US Denouncement

PYONGYANG, North Korea (June 13-09) North Korea responded Saturday to more United Nations sanctions and another, even firmer, denouncement from the U.S. Secretary of State in a statement on the North's official Korean Central News Agency Saturday. According to the KCNA, the news service the North Korean Information Minister said "We'll take firm military action if the United States and its allies try to isolate us." He was also quoted as saying that his nation would "weaponize" its existing plutonium stockpiles and begin a program to enrich uranium, which can also be used to make atomic warheads.
Describing the sanctions resolution as a "vile product" of a US-inspired campaign, Pyongyang Paul said it would never abandon nuclear weapons and would treat any attempt to blockade it as an act of war. When reminded that North Korea was still officially at war with the US he shouted, "Then we shall declare war again, we will be at double-war! Our initial assessment is that they will all die, the U.S. should surrender now or be burned in their tanks, we have destroyed 2 battleships, fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - we have driven them back. We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans", the North Korean Information Minister continued, "No I am not scared, and neither should you be God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Koreans, they are stupid, they are stupid [dramatic pause] and they are condemned! The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies, I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place."
"We have them surrounded in their tanks now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are embargoing them and it is not them who embargo us. We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead."

A top Republican is angry that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor belongs to an elite private group. The top Republican's angry, and so is everyone at his country club.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The economy is so bad.......

   CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

   Jewish women are marrying for love.
   Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.
   Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
   Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package:  GE, Pfeizer and Citigroup.
   McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
   Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names
   A truck of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico
   The most highly-paid job is now jury duty
   Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting
   People in Africa are donating money to Americans
&! nbsp;&nb sp; 
   Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US ?"
   Motel Six won't leave the light on
   The Mafia is laying off judges
   And finally...
     Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
      Hey, neat...the guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear




Saturday, April 25, 2009

Why I Carry a Gun



Why I Carry a Gun:  

My old grandpa said to me son,' there comes a time in every man's  life 
when he stops bustin' knuckles and starts bustin' caps and  usually it's 
when he becomes too old to take an ass whoopin'.
I  don't carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I  don't carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this  world can be a scary place.
I  don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are  real threats in the world.

I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
I carry a gun  because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the 

I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
I  carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
I carry a gun  so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating 
myself for  failing to be prepared.

I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I  carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and 
not  on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
I carry a  gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a  

I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I  carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the  
ones they love.

I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry  a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am  

I don't carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun  because I love life and the people who make it meaningful 
to  me.
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to 
take an ass whoopin'.

....author unknown

Police Protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect  themselves.
Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just  investigate the 
crime after it happens and then call someone in to  clean up the mess.


In 1929, the  Soviet Union  established gun control. >From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. 
In 1911,  Turkey  established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. 
Germany  established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated. 
China  established gun control in 1935. >From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated 
Guatemala  established gun control in 1964. >From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. 
    ---- ------------- ------------
Uganda  established gun control in 1970. >From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. 
Cambodia  established gun control in 1956. >From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated. 
Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million. 
With guns, we are 'citizens'.  Without them, we are 'subjects'. 
During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade  America  because they knew most Americans were ARMED! 
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the 
shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.  





Thursday, April 23, 2009



  " "




    Bill Clinton and George W. Bush announced plans Monday to perform on the dinner circuit together. The phone's ringing off the hook. After just one hundred days of hope and change, Americans are already nostalgic for the days of adultery and torture.
    ~Argus Hamilton

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

If only this were true...


    President Obama met with his entire Cabinet today. Well, sure, now that April 15th has passed, they've all come out of hiding.
    ~Jay Leno

Sunday, April 12, 2009




Last week, as President Obama exited his helicopter
and stepped down to the White House lawn,
he was followed by two, obviously excited, squealing piglets.
The squared away Marine guard snapped to attention,
Saluted and said: "Nice pigs, Sir."
The President replied, "These are not ordinary pigs.....
They're a prized pair of rare authentic
Iowa 'The Other White Meat' hogs.
I got one for Senate Majority leader Harry Reid,
and one for Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi."
The squared away Marine again snapped to attention,
Saluted and replied -
"Excellent trade, Sir."




    Russia is backing a return of the world economy to the gold standard. Apparently they think it would be much safer than following the U.S. lead of basing the economy on derivatives and Ponzi schemes
    ~Jim Barach

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Gitmo Saloon


The Queen of England gave of BO the most appropriate gift anyone has ever given him, a framed picture of himself.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009



mail to:

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Washington , D.C. 20500.

There is a growing protest to demand that Congress, the President and his cabinet LISTEN to us, the American Citizens. What is being done in Wash. D.C. is NOT the way to handle the economic free fall. They are legislating us into BANKRUPTSY.

So, here's the plan.. On April 1, 2009, all Americans are asked to send a TEABAG to Washington . You do not have to enclose a note or any other information unless you so desire, just a TEABAG. Many cities are organizing protests. If you simply search, "New American Tea Party", several sites will come up.

It would be best if you take the tea leaves out of the bag so the tea bag lies flat in the envelope, enabling it to go through the sorting machine without jamming.


Well April first and OBusha's tax relief program kicks in for the lower income earners... a 50 cent a pack tax hike on their tobacco! Ha, what a prankster OBusha is, they're getting "change" alright!


Monday, March 30, 2009



When I first saw McCain and Obama
photographed together -
they reminded me of someone -
I just couldn't think who.
A duo, some comedy team, perhaps?
Laurel & Hardy?  Abbot & Costello?

Lewis & Martin?  Beavis and Butthead?
Well, 'GOLL-EEEE!' It's finally hit me!
Sgt. Carter and
Gomer Pyle!



    The mainstream media (a.k.a. the Matrix) don't want you to listen to Limbaugh because they're afraid he'll wake you up and set you free of their worldview.