Saturday, January 31, 2009

Thousands Attend Globaloney Protest












The Arizona Cardinals will be playing in their first Superbowl Sunday, it is very surprising because the last time they were even in the play-offs they were known as the Arizona Peradactals.
~DaDougster

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Pledge???

 
 
 

    If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
    ~Mark Twain

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

He is pretty articulate...

Obamaisms

Dumb Quotes and Gaffes by Barack Obama

"I'm here with the Girardo family here in St. Louis." --speaking via satellite to the Democratic National Convention, while in Kansas City, Missouri, Aug. 25, 2008

"Let me introduce to you the next President -- the next Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden." --slipping up while introducing Joe Biden at their first joint campaign rally, Springfield, Illinois, Aug. 23, 2008

"Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee -- which is my committee -- a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don't obtain a nuclear weapon." --referring to a committee he is not on, Sderot, Israel, July 23, 2008

"Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain...administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change." --Amman, Jordan, July 22, 2008

"How's it going, Sunshine?" --campaigning in Sunrise, Florida

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

"Hold on one second, sweetie, we're going to do -- we'll do a press avail." --to a female reporter for ABC's Detroit affiliate who asked about his plan to help American autoworkers (
Watch video clip)

"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go." --at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon (
Watch video clip)

"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" --after being asked a foreign policy question by a reporter while visiting a diner in Pennsylvania

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." --explaining his troubles winning over some working-class voters

"The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, you know, there's a reaction that's been bred in our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society."

"Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions." --exasperated by reporters after a news conference

"You're likeable enough, Hillary." --during a Democratic debate

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed." --on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

Got another Obama quote? Email it to politicalhumor.guide@about.com
Dumb Political Quotes

Bushisms

McCainisms

Clintonisms

Barack Obama Loyalty Quiz
 
 

    The official temperature at the inauguration was 18 degrees. John McCain said it was so cold his teeth were chattering, and they were in his pocket at the time.
    ~Leno

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ice Cream & The Election

 

Who worries about "the cow" when it is all about

the "Ice Cream?  

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was

while teaching third grade this year.  

The presidential election was heating up and

 some of the children showed an interest.  

I decided we would have an election for a class president.

 We would choose our nominees.

 They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.  

To simplify the process, candidates were

 nominated by other class members.  

We discussed what kinds of characteristics

 these students should have.

We got many nominations and from those,

Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.  

The class had done a great job in their selections.

Both candidates were good kids.

I thought Jamie might have an advantage because

 he got lots of parental support.

 I had never met Olivia's parents.  

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.  

Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about

 how to make our class a better place.

 He ended by promising to do his very best.

 Everyone applauded.  

He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.

 Her speech was concise.

She said, "If you will vote for me,

 I will give you ice cream." She sat down.  

The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.

" She surely could say more. She did not have to.

A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream?

 She wasn't sure.

 Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it?

 She didn't know.

 The class really didn't care.

All they were thinking about was ice cream.

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.  

Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth

 he offered ice cream and

 fifty-two percent of the people reacted like nine year olds.

They want ice cream.

 The other forty-eight percent of us know

 we're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.

_,_._,___
 

    The mayor of Portland insists he won't resign despite being caught in a lie about an affair with an 18-year-old man. But he will consider stepping down as soon as he can run for Governor of New Jersey
    ~Jake Novak

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Coming to your local theatre

 
 



 


    Today was Hillary Clinton's first day as secretary of state. She's now in charge of all foreign affairs. Bill Clinton will still handle all domestic affairs.
    ~Craig Ferguson

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Dream and the 44th

OBAM's Media

 

Without the Mainstream Media, the Left is Nothing


Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago:

"Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees"
"Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times"

"Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft"

Headlines Today:

"Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $120 million"

"Obama Spends $120 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party"

"Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate"

"Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration"



There's just nothing like

fair & unbiased coverage of the news !

 



 

    Some people got bored while waiting for the inauguration so they started doing the Electric Slide. Apparently, the best way to celebrate our first black president is to do the whitest dance imaginable.
    ~Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

GCF: Reindeer For Sale

Nine white reindeer. Male. Range in age from 5-13 years. TB and
brucellosis tested; current on all vaccinations, vet-checked and come
with health certificates and guarantee of flight.  Lead deer has
dermatological condition which is chronic, but doesn't seem to affect
pulling ability or visual accuracy.  One owner.  $2,000.00 apiece/
first $17,000 takes all. Tired of the cold weather and moving to Phoenix.

Please contact:  Mr. S. Claus,
snc@workshop.arc.npole
 
 

    Bill Richardson is withdrawing his nomination to be commerce secretary citing that he is overqualified compared to other BO picks, the Dim Senators from Minn. and N.Y. and Obama himself.
    ~DaDougster 

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Israel Aggresses Humanitarian Boat in International Waters

MIDDLE EAST (Jan. 02-09) Former Georgia Congresswoman and Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney's latest attention getting, cheap, political stunt was derailed last Tuesday when the yacht she was on board rammed into an Israeli gunboat. Paul Larudee, a co-founder of the California-based Free Gaza group said the organization was determined to continue the relief missions, the sixth such trip to Gaza and the first to be interrupted. "We're going to get it repaired," Larudee said of the Dignity, the cabin cruiser sustained damage to the bridge, engine room, and hull, "and we're going to continue our missions of pure propaganda. We have liberal journalists, a crazy Leftest Congresscritter, and all kinds of other nutjobs who are coming basically to provoke Israel and provide relief for Hamas!"
Foreign Ministry spokesman Yigal Palmor said the boat ignored a radio order to turn back, Israel has declared areas around the Gaza Strip a "closed military zone" after it launched an aerial offensive in the coastal territory on Hamas targets on Saturday, the boat tried to outmaneuver the navy ship and crashed into it, lightly damaging both vessels. The blockade-running attempt to carry medical supplies to Hamas was then ordered to turn around and return back to Cypress. The activists claimed they did not have enough fuel to return so the Navy allowed the vessel to sail to the Lebanese seaport of Tyre.
Defense Ministry spokesman Shlomo Dror said "The time has come to put a stop to these morons who are sending a 66-foot yacht into a war zone and are not bringing any significant amount of humanitarian supplies." He pointed out that the Gaza crossings are still open, despite the ongoing rocket and mortar attacks on Israel, more than 120 trucks entered Sunday and Monday, for hundreds of tons of aid, and 100 more are expected to reach the area Tuesday. "If McKinney must deliver supplies to an organization on the US State Department's terrorist list she can just use one of her limos!"
~posted by DaDougster

A new law school in California is offering free tuition for the students accepted in its first year. The other students will have to pay for their law degrees the old fashioned way. Suing the school for discrimination, misrepresentation or fraud.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Ad in an Illinois Newspaper








The NFL postseason begins. What do you call guys who'll sit on their butts during an entire game in their living rooms? The Dallas Cowboys