Sunday, January 30, 2005


    This was the greatest year ever for African-American actors. Five out of the 20 acting nominations went to African-Americans. In fact, Condoleezza Rice is up for best actress for her line "I'm looking forward to working with Barbara Boxer".
    ~Jay Leno

    Most of the 400 guests at Donald Trump's wedding said they had such a good time, they can't wait for the next one.
    ~Rob Bates

    Osama bin Laden has released a video. In it, he says his goal is to bankrupt the U.S. He wants to become a member of Congress.
    ~Alan Ray

Saturday, January 29, 2005

What your not seeing from our networks

    You can get a good idea about what's going on in Iraq and the defeatism, coming out of Iran and Syria through these short video clips, #499 is particularly moving.

    You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.
    ~Edward Keating

Friday, January 28, 2005


    The Democratic Party has convinced Blacks that Abraham Lincoln was a Democrat and George Wallace a Republican.
    ~Larry Elder

    Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
    ~ William Congreve

    The brave don't live forever, but the cautious don't live at all. Here's to the brave!
    ~Timothy Luce

Thursday, January 27, 2005


    Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
    ~Alexander Pope

    The LibDems are bleating on every airwave they can ride that they have moral values, too. Yes, they certainly do – it's just that some of those values are immoral.
    ~Jack Wheeler; The Beginning of the End of Abortion

    Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
    ~Aldous Huxley

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


    According to the New York Post both Al Gore and John Kerry are planning on running for president in 2008. Gore and Kerry -- again experts say it is to early to say who would loose bigger.
    ~Jay Leno

    I tell ya, I don't get no respect. I told my son, 'Someday you'll have children of your own.' He said, 'So will you!'
    ~Rodney Dangerfield

    Dr. James Dobson, the founder of the conservative Christian organization, Focus on the Family, claimed in a speech Tuesday that the cartoon character SpongeBob Squarepants is gay, and is being used in a pro-homosexual video designed to brainwash kids. And yet he gives that carpet-muncher Dora the Explorer a free ride.
    ~Tina Fey

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


    The theme for President Bush's second inauguration is "Celebrating Freedom and Honoring Service", which is better than their original, "Celebrating that the Democrats Nominated Kerry".
    ~Alex Kaseberg

    "It seems like 'the World Community' divide its time between demanding our money and telling us to stay out of their business." "Yeah, being American is a whole lot like raising teen-agers."
    ~Mallard Fillmore; Bruce Tinsley

    Funny what "donors' intent" turns into when you're a politician spending other people's money.
    ~Jeff Jacoby; How to Spend a Surplus

Monday, January 24, 2005


    Talk show host Jerry Springer called the war in Iraq immoral. Springer made the remarks while breaking up a fight between a hooker and a deadbeat dad.
    ~Conan O'Brien

    Patrick Lawler, the construction worker who didn't realize he had a nail lodged in his head, says he doesn't want to be a construction worker anymore. Of course after his experience, he's the perfect choice to be the new Chairman of the Democratic National Committee!
    ~Jake Novak

    President Bush announced tough new reading standards for high school students. He wants ninth graders to read at an eight grade level by the time they are in 12th grade.
    ~Jay Leno

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Done Deal


This Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles will try to avoid becoming the first team to lose 4 straight conference championship games. But if the Eagles do lose, their head coach will automatically become the leading candidate to chair the Democratic National Committee.
~Jake Novak

There's a rumor that al-Qaida is going bankrupt. I think perhaps this is true, here's why: Last week, Martha Stewart dumped her al-Qaida stock.
~David Letterman

Europe's Airbus has just unveiled the world's biggest-ever passenger plane, with room for 840 passengers. Usually to get that many Europeans crammed together in one place you have to hold an anti-American demonstration.
~Jake Novak

Thursday, January 20, 2005


    Donald Trump will marry 33 year old model Melania Knauss on Saturday. It should be a very emotional ceremony. They each wrote their own portion of the prenup.
    ~Alan Ray

    Harvard president Lawrence Summers is being attacked for suggesting that there may be biological reasons for why women don't excel in math and science. But experts say biology is a factor, because women are discouraged from staying in math and science classes by all the geeky male students slobbering over them.
    ~Jake Novak

    Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war!
    ~William Shakespeare; Antony, Julius Caesar

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


    Congress will investigate radio commentator Armstrong Williams for accepting money from the Department of Education. Members are outraged. If he wants to take money under the table to support a bill he can run for Congress like everybody else.
    ~Argus Hamilton

    Instead of listening to music during your morning drive to work, Playboy is now offering nude pictures that people can download on their iPods. In a related story, Playboy has bought a controlling interest in every auto repair shop in America.
    ~Jake Novak

    Los Angeles Laker superstar Kobe Bryant severely sprained his ankle Thursday in a nationally televised game with the Cleveland Cavaliers. The sprain was his second serious leg injury. The summer before last in Colorado he pulled a Bill Clinton.
    ~Argus Hamilton

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


    The 59-year-old great-grandmother from Georgia who made dozens of newspapers and cable news shows when she said she was pregnant with twins, is not really pregnant. Her family says she has some mental disabilities, but it's not clear if they're as serious as the mental disabilities afflicting the people at the newspapers and cable news shows who covered this story.
    ~Jake Novak

    Vice President Dick Cheney blasted the United Nations' handling of Iraq's oil-for-food program, alleging that the organization accepted bribes and kickbacks that were rightfully Halliburton's.
    ~Andy Borowitz

    There was an animal rights group who asked former President Jimmy Carter to stop fishing. How about that? They told him to stop fishing. This makes him the first president to be told to put his rod away since, well ...
    ~David Letterman

Monday, January 17, 2005


    Congress returned to session yesterday after having a month off. Did you even notice they were gone? See that's when you know you have a government job. There aren't any other jobs where you leave for a month and nobody even realizes you weren't there.
    ~Jay Leno

    At the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia tourists can experience what it is like to take the oath of office -- a virtual swearing in station. Your image is up on a giant screen while an actor playing a Supreme Court justice swears you in. It is kinda like a fantasy land for Democrats.
    ~Jay Leno

    Donald Trump is introducing a line of hair care products. That's like George Bush publishing a dictionary.
    ~David Letterman

Sunday, January 16, 2005

    Former child actor Macaulay Culkin is willing to testify that Michael Jackson never molested him during his many childhood sleepovers at Neverland. But first, Culkin has to come out of his drug-induced, memory-destroying stupor.
    ~Jake Novak

    Four people have been fired over the weekend from CBS over the Dan Rather report on President Bush's National Guard scandal. The network said the four employees were fired for sloppy reporting and incompetent fact checking. But the good news, today all four of them were hired by the New York Times.
    ~Jay Leno

    Since he took over from Tom Brokaw, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams has been trying to work some of his own humor into the broadcast. But critics say NBC should first try to work some humor into "Saturday Night Live."
    ~Jake Novak

Saturday, January 15, 2005

    They say that the security arrangements for the up coming presidential inauguration will be the most extensive in history. And that's just to keep the Bush twins away from the champagne.
    ~Craig Ferguson

    The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Sometimes an idea comes along that is so stupid, all you can do is stand back, give it some room, and stare.
    ~New York Times

    Apple is introducing a new $99 iPod. It can store 120 songs, fits in your pocket, and it makes everyone who paid three times as much for an iPod just last month feel like a huge idiot.
    ~Jake Novak

    Osama bin Laden has released yet another audiotape saying that any Iraqi voting in the January election will be considered an infidel and will be punished by God, and he also urged people not to waste their vote on Ralph Nader.
    ~Jay Leno

    Former Ohio State football star Maurice Clarett now says he was given cash, free cars, and took no-show jobs while at the school. Experts say Clarett may not be ready for the NFL, but he's clearly qualified for a career in politics.
    ~Jake Novak

    I don't know if anybody got this week's Newsweek but there is an interview in there with John Kerry and in there he says -- this is a quote -- John Kerry says he didn't loose the election, he just didn't win. See that's the clear decisive kind of thinking that made us all love him.
    ~Jay Leno

Friday, January 14, 2005

    Talk show host Armstrong Williams now admits the Bush administration paid him $240,000 to promote the "No Child Left Behind" program on his radio show. Critics are calling it a waste of taxpayer money, not because it was propaganda, but because nobody actually listens to Armstrong Williams.
    ~Jake Novak

    The House has a new rule that will now require a majority vote of its 10-member ethics committee before any complaint against a Congressman can be investigated. Critics say the only problem with the bill is that a majority of the Congressmen on the ethics committee still don't actually know what ethics are.
    ~Jake Novak

    William Kennedy Smith had another sexual assault lawsuit thrown out Monday. It's getting old. In a perfect world, all the Kennedy men would be sentenced to watch the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show to improve their etiquette around a woman's leg.
    ~Argus Hamilton

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Those silly Dems

Democrats, the party of all races and creeds... oh, go read some hatemail from the Left while you have a chance :)

[George] Wallace's heirs have traded in the white robes of the redneck Klan for the rainbow sheets of the multicultural clan.
~Michelle Malkin

Cajun Humor

Pierre and Boudreaux was flying to Mardi Gras. Boudreaux was flying da plane, and Pierre was in da back when da plane started bouncin around -n- knocked Boudreaux unconscious. Pierre got worried when da plane started driftin, and come up to da front to find Boudreaux sprawl out all over da steerin wheel.

Well, Pierre don't know nuttin bout flyin so he grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis Heeyah  Cajun Air Line 90210. Boudreaux, him knock unconscious an I don know nuttin about flyin dis plane!"

"Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don you worry 'bout nuttin. We gonna splain you how to land dis plane, step by step! Furst, how high you are, an whas you position?"

Pierre thought a minute, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all da way to da front of dis plane."

No! No!" answer da tower. "What you altitude, an where you location?"

Pierre say, "Man, rat now ah got a po attitude, an I'm from Lawzeeanna!"

"No! No!" came the exasperated voice. "Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da ground and you planes relation to da airport!"

Pierre, he really be panicking by dis time. He say firmly, "Counting Boudreaux's feets an mine togedder, we got fo feet off da groun! An I don believe dis plane be related to you airport!"

A long pause in da Control Tower--de silence was deafaning and then the voice come back-- "We needs to know who be you next of kin.."

    Beware of the fury of the patient man.
    ~John Dryden

  Here are your crumbs, your scraps, your measly handouts. Too bad you're so childish, incompetent and dependent, huh? Now run along and cast your vote for the guy with the "D" next to his name and we'll see you in four years, 'K? Buh-bye, now.
    ~Ann coulter; 40 excuses and a mule

    We can as little afford to tolerate a dishonest man in the public service as a coward in the army
    ~Theodore Roosevelt 

    This world is like Noah's Ark. In which few men but many beasts embark.
    ~Samuel Butler

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

    What sense or thought do they have? They follow the popular singers, and they take the crowd as their teacher.

    Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.
    ~Stephen Vincent Benét

    Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat.
    ~Martin H. Fischer

Saturday, January 08, 2005

    The most dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth.
    ~G. C. Lichtenberg

    I am a little man and this is a little town but there must be a spark in a little man that can burst into flame.
    ~John Steinbeck

    He who sees The Sun, The Moon, The Stars, and all the beauty of the earth and still says 'There is no God' is ludicrous.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Move America Forward

    Do you think the UN needs a new $1.3 billion dollar complex built in the United States paid for with American taxes? It's long overdue that we get out of the UN, sign the petition if you agree.

    One must also understand that communists are inherently needy. They are not drawn to communism because of the part of the doctrine that says "from each according to his ability". They are attracted, instead, by the part that says "to each according to his need." In other words, they are lazy people who do not want to compete in order to get ahead in society.
    ~Mike S. Adams; The abolition of tenure

Thursday, January 06, 2005

    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
    ~William Sunday

    Pure truth, like pure gold, has been found unfit for circulation because men have discovered that it is far more convenient to adulterate the truth than to refine themselves.
    ~Charles Caleb Colton

We all have inner demons to fight, we call these demons, fear and hatred and anger. If you do not conquer them then a life of one hundred years is a tragedy. If you do, then a life of a single day can be a triumph.
    ~Yip Mann; Bruce Lee's Wing-Chun Sifu(Instructor)

New Definitions

Parking Space - An area which disappears as you are making a U-turn.

Highbrow - A person educated beyond their intelligence.

Social Grace - When you start out on the right foot rather than putting it in your mouth.

Charity - That generous impulse to give away something you have no use for.

Flattery - The art of telling a person exactly what they think of

Memory - The thing I forget with.

Proverb - A short sentence based on long experience.

Laziness - The habit of resting before you get tired.

Social Tact - Making people feel at home when you wish they were.

Small Town - A place where it's no sooner done than said.

Egotism - The art of seeing qualities in yourself which others can't see.

Egoist - A conceited person who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Diplomacy - Saying, "nice doggy," while you're looking around for a rock.

Girdle - An ingenious device invented to keep an unfortunate situation from spreading.

Egotist - A person who thinks if he hadn't been born, people would wonder why.

Prune - A plum that has seen better days


    What you hold in your hand is proof of man's power - against which our strength means nothing. It has the force of 100 spears. I warn you, man's ingenuity goes hand-in-hand with their cruelty. No creature is as devious or violent.
    ~Charlton Heston; Planet of the Apes

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

A small New Year's request


They came in single file, about 50 of them. Silent ambassadors, to tell us who they were. They moved at a slow pace, passing us for over 20 minutes.

Some walked, while others pushed their wheelchairs as best they could. Some were helped along on crutches by their wives or sweethearts. They were escorted front and rear by US Marines in dress blue uniform. I have never seen prouder Marines. The Amputee Ward from
Walter Reed Army Medical Center visited the Pentagon today.

Some wore looks of resolution, pride, or dignity. Many had prosthetic devices where limbs used to be. All of them wore looks of surprise. We, the 26,000 employees of the Pentagon, lined both sides of the A ring (the inner ring of the Pentagon) to watch them pass and welcome them with thunderous applause.

Half a mile they walked through a gauntlet of grateful fellow citizens two and three deep, who reached out to shake the hands of the remaining good arms or grasp the remaining fingers of hands that have given ultimate service.

They walked through us to the main concourse, where they were met by the Army Band and color guard playing martial music for them and where the mall was filled with additional people who swelled the applause. Many of us just called out loudly, "Thank You!" because we didn't know what else could be said; thank you for your service to us. The applause never stopped.

None of them spoke. They just cried. So did we.

It was the closest I have been to Christmas in a long time.

I have a request that I would like make to you -- that you consider supporting these wounded soldiers at Walter Reed in a way that would mean so much to them.

The number ONE request at Walter Reed hospital is phone cards. The government doesn't pay long distance phone charges and these wounded soldiers are rationing their calls home. The hospital administrators say they can use an "endless" supply of phone cards so that the wounded soldiers can call their friends and families.

A phone card of any amount, even $5 is greatly appreciated. Wal-Mart has good prices on AT&T cards, Sams Club is even better, if you are a member. Just buy a phone card of any amount and send it to:

Medical Family Assistance Center
Walter Reed Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20307-5001

Please consider letting everyone you know that they can do the same. It's one way to give American soldiers who have been wounded in battle fighting to keep terrorism from our shores a happier New Year.
TTP Intelligence Bulletin
Dr. Jack Wheeler
Friday, December 31, 2004

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
~John Stewart Mill

Monday, January 03, 2005

A New Year's Resolution: We Must All Help Those in Need

The 12 Step Program
Given the difficulty in bringing Liberals into the light, I thought it might be helpful to provide them with a 12-step program that could make it easier for a successful transition into reality. As Conservatives, we have to remember that we can only be supportive to Liberals in this program. They cannot do it alone, but we also cannot do it for them.

Step 1: Admitting that youÂ’re a Liberal
This is the first step for every Liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you’re not “progressive,” “moderate,” or “enlightened.” You’re a Liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts
Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hillary Clinton, and CNN (the Communist News Network) to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on “feelings” or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can’t be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America
This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class
IÂ’ve always defined a Socialist as someone whoÂ’s never taken an economics class. Most Socialists IÂ’ve spoke with would have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. ItÂ’s time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve Communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say “no” to Communism and Socialism
While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil
If you’re reading this article online or in an e-mail, it’s thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldn’t have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn’t equate to “greed” or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world’s history. Even Communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient
If you are one of those Liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why HillaryÂ’s Socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your “mother,” and she’s not dying
The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society, and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobaccy
Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, youÂ’ll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger
If God didnÂ’t intend for us to eat animals, he wouldnÂ’t have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. YouÂ’ll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history
ItÂ’s now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didnÂ’t create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary
Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming Liberalism, itÂ’s time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the Liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you.

Congratulations, and welcome to reality.

    Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands.  Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again.  Hold on to the Constitution, for if the American Constitution should fail, there will be anarchy throughout the world.
    ~Daniel Webster


O nce upon a time,God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael,the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continentof black people." "Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God "That's Washington State,the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and forests. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving,and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed,"What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait till you see the idiots I put there."

   Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
    ~Henry Kissinger


    Reading a liberal imply that conservatives aren't really concerned about Democracy is like listening to an atheist complain that a Christian doesn't pray enough.
    ~John Hawkins

    It is death, and not what comes after death, that men are generally afraid of.
    ~Samuel Butler

Do you believe in telepathy? No? Then what are you doing when you pray?
    ~Reverend Charles Moore


Sunday, January 02, 2005

A divided America?

    Glenn Beck always knows how to expres Conservative's views in an eficent maner. Check out this short presentation regaurding the final outcome of our recent elelctions.

    There comes a time in every man's life when he's consumed by the desire to spit on his palms, hoist the black flag and start cutting throats.
    ~Henry Louis Mencken

Terrorist Alert in France

AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."

The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of Frances' white flag factories, disabling their military.

    You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
    ~Beverly Sills