Thursday, November 23, 2006

.


   Thursday is Thanksgiving. President Bush will have a very small gathering for dinner. He’s invited his allies from Congress.
    ~Alan Ray

Monday, November 20, 2006

.


     Gasoline prices are going back up across the country. With the Democrats taking control of Congress, the oil companies need to raise money for their legal defense fund.
    ~Jake Novak

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

.


    This was a big week. Democrats won in places they were never even competitive before--like America.
    ~Bill Maher

.


    Troops in Iraq don't get beer because it may offend the Muslims. That's wrong. How can I enjoy my nachos and beer if those putting their life on the line can't enjoy theirs? Troops should be able to have their beer in any country, and those offended by it should remember that out military is heavily armed and likes to kill stupid jerks.
    ~Frank J.

Monday, November 13, 2006

.


    ... the American Idiot Collective evolved into intelligent and discerning voters – as they demonstrated Tuesday by returning Congress to its rightful owners. No one knows for sure how it happened, or who deserves the credit for educating the mindless sheeple herd and bringing their collective IQ out of the double digits. Whether it was Cindy Sheehan’s wailing, Al Gore’s bloviating, Hillary Clinton’s screeching, or Barbara Streisand spewing obscenities at her audience, Americans have finally opened their minds to the brilliant light of progressive reason.

Friday, November 10, 2006

.


    That's it, folks, America's over. At this point we might as well just give it back to the goddamn Indians. We'll see how they deal with foreign enemies bent on their destruction. Here's your cake, terrorists, there you go, enjoy. Tastes like surrender!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

.


    There's nothing in this world sadder than politicians who take themselves seriously. 
    ~HaBlog

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

.


    You see, it's fine to openly and shamelessly engage in behavior that you know is wrong, but to do it secretly and behind closed doors while encouraging the naive and impressionable herd to refrain from such activity is the height of hypocrisy.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

.


    Here’s some inside showbiz news. There’s lots of troubles at NBC. As many as 700 employees will be fired at NBC. Things are so bad that the NBC peacock was found in a KFC bucket today.
     ~Letterman

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Monday, October 30, 2006

.


    Yesterday in an interview aired on 'This Week' with George Stephanopoulos, Fox made a very important admission.  You know that commercial he made [video] in Missouri, in support of that controversial stem cell amendment?  Well, as it turns out, Michael J. Fox hasn't even read the amendment.  Oops.
    Now, two points here.  One, Fox deserves a bit of credit for admitting he hasn't read the text of the amendment.  At least he's being honest.  But second, it's typical of the Left.  They get all worked up over an issue...but in the end, don't really know what they're talking about.
    ~Boortz

Thursday, October 26, 2006

.


    You strongly believe that human life, even in its earliest stages, is sacrosanct. Well, that and three bucks might get you some brownie points with the Big Cheese in the afterlife, but if you ever want to see another Back to the Future sequel you’ll vote Claire McCaskill for United States Senate.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Ben Stein's hilarious radio spot for Chuck Poochigian

 I didn't think it was that funny...
 
----- Original Message -----
From: 
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:14 AM
Subject: [Republican_Humor] Ben Stein's hilarious radio spot for Chuck Poochigian

This is a riot! Click below to listen to Ben Stein promote California's
next Attorney General:

http://www.pooch4ag.com/inthenews/movies/101206BenSteinAd.mp3

__._,_.___  
.

__,_._,___

.


    Responding to claims from her election opponent that she used to be ugly and had plastic surgery, Hillary Clinton said that she was "cute" in high school. But the only person who thought so was Mark Foley.
    ~Jake Novak

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

.


     A Wisconsin man changed his name to Andy Griffith in his bid to be elected sheriff. This followed his unsuccessful attempt to run for mayor under the name "Boss Hogg."
    ~ Jim Barach

Monday, October 23, 2006

.


    The Mark Foley scandal is causing repercussions all throughout Washington. In fact, one law enforcement official said today they plan to start questioning female pages. To which Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton said, 'This witch hunt has to stop now.'.
    ~Leno

Thursday, October 19, 2006

.


     Madonna is seeking to adopt an African toddler from Malawi. Incidentally, Malawi is an old African word that means Ripping Off Angelina Jolie’s Publicity Stunt.
    ~ Alex Kaseberg

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

.


    President Bush said today the U.S. will not attack North Korea. Oh sure, but we may liberate them.
    ~Leno

Monday, October 16, 2006

.


    North Korea conducted a nuclear test and the blast was so small that many scientists are saying it was a dud. Apparently, the nuclear bomb didn't work well because it was made in Korea.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

.


    Speaking of Foley, let's see what's happening on Brokeback, I mean Capitol Hill. God, it shows you how times have changed. It used to be a good thing when two congressmen were on the same page. Now, it's horrible.
    ~Leno

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

.


    The world is responding to North Korea's nuclear test with severe sanctions. This means from now on, all North Koreans will have to find their own dirt to eat.
    ~Jake Novak

.


    You can tell it’s fall here in New York City because Hillary Clinton is wearing her all flannel pants suit.
    ~Letterman

Friday, October 06, 2006

.


    People are now wondering what to do with Foley’s seat in congress. How about they start with Lysol? Then some Bactene. After that cover it with plastic.
    ~Leno

Thursday, October 05, 2006

.


    A senior congressional aide says he told House Speaker Dennis Hastert two years ago about Mark Foley's involvement with teenage boys. Hastert said he didn't recall and immediately checked into the Condi Rice No-Recall Rehab Center.
    ~HaBlog

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

.


    There is a scandal at the University of Ohio. A number of engineering graduates may have cheated on their exams over twenty years ago. Does it really matter though? A lot of those students went on to do great things. An overpass in Montreal. Levees in New Orleans. A tunnel in Boston.
    ~Leno

Monday, October 02, 2006

.


    The ACLU has been silent on the issue of dirty emails, mostly because Rep Foley is neither Black nor Muslim.
    ~RightWingDuck 

Thursday, September 28, 2006

.


    As the rumor that Usama Bin Laden is dead spread worldwide, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) began gearing up to provide massive disaster relief in the so-called ‘blue states’ where FEMA expects members of the Democrat party will be hardest hit.
    ~ScrappleFace

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

.

    Allen insists that while he did indeed use the N-Word, it was only in the process of "bustin' some rhymes" with his homies, Sen. Robert Byrd and Gov. George Wallace, and that they all displayed the regulation amount of bling.   

Friday, September 22, 2006

.


    Democrats are speaking out against Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's bashing President Bush and calling him "the devil"... and if he ever steals their lines again, they're going to sue.
    ~Jake Novak

Monday, September 18, 2006

.


    The Pope, on the other hand, seems determined to start a Holy War. His half-assed apology was too little, too late, and didn’t include anywhere near the amount of groveling Muslims have grown to expect from Europeans.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

.


    But quicker than Bush knocked down those towers, he was on the boob tube last night exploiting 9/11 for his own advantage. Democrats were understandably outraged. The Jersey Grrrls took time out from campaigning for John Kerry to blast Bush for politicizing the tragedy. Michael Moore cut short a special screening of Fahrenheit 9/11 at Hugo Chavez’s place. Ted Kennedy was so upset he could hardly keep his car on the road.

Monday, September 11, 2006

.


  The Iranian Minister of Health has announced they have a cure for AIDS. I’m guessing the key ingredient is enriched uranium.
    ~Leno

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

.


     Astronomers had a meeting and voted to strip Pluto of its status as a planet.  This is a big deal.  School text books will have to be re-printed.  Charts and diagrams will have to be re-designed.  Two entire episodes of "Star Trek" will have to be re-filmed.

Monday, August 28, 2006

.


    The results of a new study are out saying New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. 
    ~Conan O'Brien

Friday, August 25, 2006

.


     Israel bought two more German-made nuclear submarines Thursday. Iran immediately announced it will also buy a nuclear submarine as soon as it can figure out how to strap one on a suicide bomber.  
    ~HaBlog

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

.


      Changing 'french fries' to 'freedom fries' was arguably the Republican Congress' greatest accomplishment. Democrats would have called them 'surrender fries."  

Monday, August 21, 2006

.


   As usual the Liberals offer a mixture of sound and original ideas. Unfortunately none of the sound ideas is original and none of the original ideas is sound.
    ~Harold Mcmillan

Thursday, August 17, 2006

.


  At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

.


    Former President Ford has been admitted to the Mayo clinic. Nobody knows why, really. None of Ford's people are sharing any information. Reporters are a bit miffed I tell you. They’re not used to dealing with former presidents who can keep their mouths shut.

Monday, August 14, 2006

.


    British authorities said they were able to detect the terrorist plot using a surveillance program that the "New York Times” hadn’t got around to exposing yet.
    ~Leno

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

.


     Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
    ~Mark Twain

Monday, August 07, 2006

.


    Before he was assigned to cover the Hezbollah-Israeli Conflict in Beirut by Reuters, it turns out that Adnan Hajj had been given another assignment long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

.


   Fidel Castro has transferred power to his brother Raul. The transition is seamless. Cuba’s men and women will see absolutely no change in the lack of government services.
    ~Alan Ray

Thursday, July 20, 2006

.


    I think I've been a little harsh on Islam in general lately, but you can't be an honest Christian without thinking that all other religions are complete and utter crap (with some exception to Judaism because it's the precursor to Christianity). I mean, if you think the Prophet Mohammed wasn't a nut, then you should switch to Islam; it's simple as that, but most are too polite to say it.   
    ~Frank J.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

.

    Like a schoolyard snitch breathlessly squealing to a teacher, CNN reported with wide, excited eyes that President Bush used "the S word" when he mistakenly thought he had a little privacy. Oddly, he wasn't using it to describe the quality of CNN's reporting.

    ~Harvey

Friday, July 14, 2006

.


    With operations to free kidnapped soldiers in Gaza and Lebanon, Israel is now fighting a two-front war... well, it's actually three fronts if you count the BBC.
    ~Jake Novak


 

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

.


    It was nice to see The New York Times commemorating Independence Day this week with a tribute to its favorite Revolutionary War hero, Benedict Arnold.

Monday, July 10, 2006

.


    In Washington a man tried to jump the fence to the White House. Thank God he was stopped! At the last second Dick Cheney was able to pick him off.
    ~Letterman

Friday, June 23, 2006

.

 

    What happens is each person moves up in Al Qaeda now, so the number three guy is number two, the number eleven guy is now number ten, and the number forty-eight guy is now Howard Dean.
    ~Coulter

Thursday, June 22, 2006

.


    It’s official. Yesterday was Dan Rather’s last day at CBS. What a great couple of weeks for President Bush. First he gets rid of al Zarqawi and now Dan Rather. His two biggest enemies.
    ~Leno

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

.


    Hillary Clinton called for a Privacy Bill of Rights today. Not to be confused with the Right to Privacy that's already in the actual Bill of Rights, the Privacy Bill of Rights will protect our privacy in ways that the Privacy Act of 1974, the Computer Matching and Privacy Protection Act of 1988, the Video Privacy Protection Act of 1988, the Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974, the 4th Amendment to the Constitution, and the hundreds of state privacy laws already in effect never could. Most importantly, it will make identity theft a crime.
    For years, I’ve been under the impression that it already was a crime, but apparently I was wrong. I guess that it was just some sort of social taboo, frowned upon but entirely legal. Under President Hillary, identity theft will finally become a serious violation of an actual law, officially defined, on the books, and as rigorously enforced as our immigration laws.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

.


    A Navy chief petty officer home on leave from the Middle East was shot and killed by a carjacker in Dallas this weekend. Democrats are now calling for America's complete withdrawal from Texas.
    ~Jake Novak

Monday, June 12, 2006

.


    Before criticizing others for being 'mean' to women, perhaps Hillary should talk to her who was accused of rape by Juanita Broaddrick and was groping Kathleen Willy at the very moment Willey's was committing suicide.
    ~Ann Coulter

Friday, June 09, 2006

.


    ...where [is] Moore [] going to get $85 million, since everyone knows he's squandered all his movie royalties building a 300-foot, solid gold statue of a Twinkie, toward which he bows down to pray five times daily.
    ~Harvey

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

.


    A friend in San Jose, California, gave me a copy of the Republican Primary ballot booklet he received in the mail that is written entirely in Spanish.  Neither he nor his wife speak a word of Spanish, so they will ask that the California school system put them through a Spanish as a Second Language course in order to vote in Mexifornia. 
    ~Jerhad

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

.


      An AP poll says Americans are impatient people. One in four get mad while in line at the grocery store. One in five have spoken rudely to someone recently on the phone. The rest of the people didn't stick around to finish the survey.
    ~Jim Barach

Monday, June 05, 2006

.


    Researchers have found that oral sex among teenagers has doubled in the last ten years. So who says there is no lasting Clinton legacy?
    ~
Leno

Thursday, June 01, 2006

.


    Congressmen in Capitol Hill are receiving thousands of bricks via mail from advocates of a tougher Mexican border. Most of the congressmen welcomed the bricks and promised to use them to build walls to protect their offices from the FBI.

Monday, May 29, 2006

.


    The Lundberg Survey reported record high gas prices for Memorial Day weekend drivers. It's almost a dollar a gallon more expensive in the Northeast and the West Coast. These states always vote Democratic and it's considered a complaint tax.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

.


    Since I have become jaded to the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats, Sierra Club, ACLU, etc. I have elected to solve the problems as they affect me. It solves both my gas and illegal immigrant problems.  I have hired illegal immigrants to push my car. They're plentiful
and cheaper than buying gas.
    ~Jerre May

.


   So long as men worship the Ceasars and Napoleans, Ceasars and Napoleans will duly arise and make them miserable.
    ~Aldous Huxley; Ends and Means (1937)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

.


    The President's plan is to start patrolling the U.S.-Mexican border using members of the National Guard. This will give us the most secure border in the world one weekend a month and two full weeks each summer.
    ~Leno

Monday, May 15, 2006

.

 

  Some people want to build a wall along the US/Mexico border. Thousands of years ago China built a great wall, and it worked for them.  You don't see too many Mexicans in China.

 

Thursday, May 11, 2006

.

 
 

    All that time underwater left Mr. Blaine wrinkled, withered and pruny. People say, "How can that be magic?" I disagree. It's not easy going in looking like David Blaine and coming out looking like Helen Thomas.
    ~SpaceMonkey

 
 
 

Monday, May 08, 2006

.


    CIA Director Porter Goss is resigning. Goss is now looking forward to spending his time heckling Donald Rumsfeld at public events.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

.


    As you know, Cinco de Mayo celebrates driving the French out of Mexico. So apparently Mexico has stricter immigration laws than we do.
    ~Leno

Friday, May 05, 2006

.


    Liberals are harder to train than dogs since they lack a natural sense of loyalty.
    ~Frank J.

.


    Thankfully, politicians are finally taking steps to punish greedy corporations that profit at the expense of the consumer. In California, wise Democrat leaders are proposing heavy fines on the petroleum companies should their obscene earnings rise any higher. With their costs shooting through the roof, Big Oil would then be forced to lower prices at the pumps. If they took it once step further and confiscated all of Big Oil’s profits, logic dictates that gas prices would then drop to mere pennies a gallon (plus state and local taxes). Only a Democrat could think up such a brilliant idea.

Friday, April 28, 2006

.


    Senator John Kerry said this week that he is thinking about running for president again but he hasn't made up his mind as of yet. Well, that should put to rest all those rumors about him being indecisive.
    ~Leno

Thursday, April 27, 2006

.


    So May 1st is supposed to be the day of a huge national boycott by illegals and their sympathizers (May 1st. also "just happens" to be the Commie holiday where they all goose step in unison to show their power, hmmmmm...). I guess Americans will have to hire legitimate business and contractors if they want their lawns cut that day.
    ~DaDougster

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

.


    Children who watch a lot of television do not develop behavior problems in school. This according to a new study in this month's issue of 'Lazy Parents' magazine.
    ~TINA FEY

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

.


    Queen Elizabeth received accolades from both sides of the Atlantic on Friday at her eightieth birthday party. She looks good. Any British monarch would look good to Americans after eight years of Bill Clinton and five years of George W. Bush.     ~Argus Hamilton

Monday, April 24, 2006

.


    The mayoral race in New Orleans is definitely headed for a runoff. But there are still a lot of questions to be answered... like who the Hell would want to be mayor of New Orleans?



Saturday, April 22, 2006

.


    The President of China gave President Bush a traditional Chinese gift, a pirated bootleg copy of "Mission Impossible 3", two weeks before it comes out.
    ~Leno


 

Friday, April 21, 2006

.


    A Grim Anniversary: Twenty-Seven Years Ago Today, Jimmy Carter Was Threatened By A Deadly Rabbit I don't think we'll ever forget where we were when we first heard the news that a President had just barely survived a crazed lepine assassination attempt. And Hugh Hewitt links me! What a great day. I wonder if the USS Jimmy Carter is equipped with the 'Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch'?
    ~DANEgerous

.


    When I read those wonderful words last weekend, I was struck by how thoughtful and open-minded gay families are compared to heterocentric ones. By using their own children as weapons in the war against the Christian Right, same-sex couples make the world a better place for all of us. Hetero couples, on the other hand, procreate for purely selfish reasons and their offspring serve no political purpose whatsoever.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

.


    Six retired army generals have called for the retirement of Regis.
They have also demanded that the Sizzlers early bird special be moved up to 4:00 PM.
    ~Letterman

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

.


    Media whore Jesse Jackson strikes again. Jizzbomb Jesse says the Rainbow Coalition will pick up the college tuition tab of the stripper involved in the Duke rape scandal. Here is the kicker...Jackson says he has yet to speak with the woman, but said his group pledged to pay for her tuition even if her story proves false. What a guy. Wonder how many lap dances, er, I mean private prayer meetings she will be required to participate in. So there you have it. Hookers and strippers of the USA...make up a story involving mean ole white folk raping ya and you get free college courtesy of Rev. Slap Nutz. Jackson is a buffoon and becomes more irrelevant each day. MLK is probably looking down and wishing he had never heard of this utter douchebag.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

.


Subject: Boarder Patrol Game

 

So Wrong but I had to send it! 

No political commentary; just passing it along……..

 Limber up your trigger finger.  This is a quick one!

Given the political atmosphere right now, it's very timely, don't you think?

http://pcdevils.com/flashme.php?swf=/media/flash/wp_game_border_patrol.swf


Monday, April 17, 2006

.


    There's a huge controversy here in California over a state senate bill that would require all students to study gay history. Proponents cite an alarming survey showing that 80% of kids don't know which one is Siegfried and which one is Roy. I had no idea it was that bad.
    ~Leno

Sunday, April 16, 2006

.


    Apparently some on the left are mobilizing to prevent military action against the U.S.-hating, terrorist-sponsoring, genocide-threatening, Nuke-seeking, Holocaust-denying, homosexual-executing theocrats of the Islamic Republic of Iran.
    ~Forkum

 

Thursday, April 13, 2006

.


    Illegal aliens aren't doing jobs American's won't... Illegal aliens are doing the jobs for low wages American's won't accept. But the (D)emocrats want... Illegal aliens to provide the votes American's won't.
    ~DANEgerous

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

.


     ...the closest I'll get to Congress will be watching it on C-SPAN.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

.


    It's somewhat ironic to me that NBC Dateline can run this story and fail to compare the reaction to this book to the reaction to the Mohammed cartoons. Isn't there a story there about tolerance? I guess not. I guess when Dateline wants to find a story about tolerance, they're content to send some Arab-Americans to a NASCAR event and hope that some fans hassle them.
    ~kris

Monday, April 10, 2006

.


    He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
    ~Oscar Wilde

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

.


   A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying.
    ~George Orwell

Monday, March 27, 2006

.


    Thousands of California students walked out of class Monday, reportedly to support immigrant rights. Actually, they were rushing to get the good summer jobs at McDonald's before the illegals got them.
    ~Jake Novak

Friday, March 24, 2006

.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

.



Washington Nationals star Alfonso Soriano is refusing to play left field. He knows what he's doing; no one on the Left has succeeded in Washington in 10 years.
~Jake Novak


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

.



The Shrub was handed a golden opportunity this morning to level with the American People about his real reasons for attacking Iraq, reasons that Helen Thomas would be more than happy to explain to him if he'd just open his ears and listen.
~Larry Chompstein


.





Tuesday, March 21, 2006

.


More problems for Hillary Clinton. The head of New York state's leading gay rights group describes Hillary Clinton as a disappointment on same sex marriage. Today, her husband Bill described her as a disappointment on opposite sex marriage.
~Leno


Friday, March 17, 2006

.



Thursday, March 09, 2006

.



It would seem that NJ Assemblyman Peter J. Biondi has introduced a bill in the New Jersey legislature that would require anyone who posts a message on an Internet chat room or bulletin board to identify themselves with a legal name and address. My guess would be that Peter Biondi has read some posts about him that upset him ...
~Boortz


Monday, March 06, 2006

.


Tonight is Oscar night in Hollywood, better known as the "Democratic National Convention."

.


    He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
    ~H. H. Munro

Friday, March 03, 2006

.


    You know what President Bush is giving up for Lent? Our seaports.
    ~Leno 

Thursday, March 02, 2006

.


    Free and open discussion of the issues is essential for a healthy democracy, yet some people still insist on holding me accountable for everything I write.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

.


    It’s so cold here in New York City that Mayor Bloomberg has turned over the city ports to Eskimos.
    ~Letterman

Monday, February 27, 2006

.


    According to a "Cosmo” poll, 13% of all men admit they’ve tried on a bra. The sad part, 43% of American men actually need one.
    ~Leno

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

.


    I went out with a bunch of guys and we played the Dick Cheney drinking game. Have you played this? It’s where you down a beer and then take a shot at old granddad.
    ~
Leno

Friday, February 17, 2006

RUN AWAY!

 

French Guard I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king-a?!

What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
 
 

    He had delusions of adequacy.
    ~Walter Kerr

 

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

.


    Heavy drinking U.S. Olympic skier Bode Miller was disqualified from the slalom event in Torino Tuesday. You'd think the slalom would be Miller's best event... that's the one where you don't even have to go in a straight line!
    ~Jake Novak

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

.


    Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78 year old lawyer. In fact when people found out he shot a lawyer his popularity is now at 92%!
    ~Leno

Monday, February 13, 2006

.


    In his crazed blood lust, Cheney (whose daughter is a lesbian) also wounded a fellow hunter, but never bothered to report the incident to Maureen Dowd. If the media covers the story with the rabid fervor of liberal hysteria it deserves, it has the potential to evolve into a scandal that can destroy Cheney’s 2008 White House bid, and will most suredly bode well for gun safety advocates like Al Gore and John Kerry.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Superbowl


    Do you know that the Rolling Stones have a combined age of 246 years old? In fact, that’s why they preformed on a stage with a circular runway. See, that was kind of a precaution; in case any of them ‘wandered off’, they would eventually go back to the center.
    ~Leno

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

.


    ...it is Bush who has single-handedly returned African-Americans to a state of slavery with his extremist policies. My Black readers need not concern themselves with exactly what those policies are – there are plenty of wise and trustworthy leaders in your community who are more than happy to do your thinking for you.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

.

 

    She [Cindy Sheehan] recounted her harrowing experience on Michael Moore’s website this morning, and vowed that she would use the TV, radio, newspapers, and the blogosphere to warn the American people that Freedom of Speech no longer exists in the country.
    Larry Chompstein

Friday, February 03, 2006

A little historical review

 

  • Muslims fly commercial airliners into buildings in New York City.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslim officials block the exit where school girls are trying to escape a burning building because their faces were exposed.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims cut off the heads of three teenaged girls on their way to school in Indonesia.  A Christian school.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims murder teachers trying to teach Muslim children in Iraq.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims murder over 80 tourists with car bombs outside cafes and hotels in Egypt.  No Muslim outrage.
  • A Muslim attacks a missionary children's school in India.  Kills six.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims slaughter hundreds of children and teachers in Beslan, Russia.  Muslims shoot children in the back.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Let's go way back.  Muslims kidnap and kill athletes at the Munich Summer Olympics.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims fire rocket-propelled grenades into schools full of children in Israel.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims murder more than 50 commuters in attacks on London subways and busses.  Over 700 are injured.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims massacre dozens of innocents at a Passover Seder.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims murder innocent vacationers in Bali.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslim newspapers publish anti-Semitic cartoons.  No Muslim outrage
  • Muslims are involved, on one side or the other, in almost every one of the 125+ shooting wars around the world.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Muslims beat the charred bodies of Western civilians with their shoes, then hang them from a bridge.  No Muslim outrage.
  • Newspapers in Denmark and Norway publish cartoons depicting Mohammed.  Muslims are outraged.
 

    In Washington President Bush came out of the white house and saw his shadow… Cindy Sheehan
     ~Leno

Thursday, February 02, 2006

What's the commotion?

 
 
 
 

    A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.
    ~Louis Nizer (1902 - 1994) English lawyer

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The press --

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but  don't really understand The New York Times. They do,  however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they weren't on a freeway, or playing beach-ball, or at a botox appointment or an audition -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but  need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country --  or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. Not a single one of these are read by the guy who is currently running the country into the ground.

(And may I be so school-marmish as to point out the failure of  subject and verb agreement in the last of these?)
  

    The left had their protestors out there last night. They were outside the U.S. Capitol banging pots and pans. Now that's what I call making a statement! Those of you on the left much be very proud of these efforts to bring divergent viewpoints to the people; banging pots and pans. Nice going!
    ~~Boortz

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

.


...all my free time has been spent scribbling away at my response to the Shrub’s “Disgrace of the Union” speech this Tuesday. I’m sure it will be his usual litany of lies, and the right-wing controlled media will help him once again by waiting until after his speech to air the Democrat rebuttal.

Monday, January 30, 2006

.


    You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
    ~Aristophanes

Saturday, January 28, 2006

.


    My dad has always been a huge coffee drinker and taught me to drink it strong and black (he's banned from making coffee at work since he makes it too strong). I was talking to him over the phone the other day discussing how to make the strongest cup of coffee. I said I prefer the darkest roast available, because it gives me the strongest taste and the best pick me up. At that point, an NSA operative broke into the conversation and said that, while darker roasts taste stronger, they have less caffeine since the roasting process actually burns off caffeine.
    Never thought of that.
    ~Frank J.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

.


    If Archer Daniels Midland used goons and violence to stop people from buying sugar from Caribbean producers so that sugar prices would rise, making it easier for ADM to sell more of its corn syrup sweetener, they'd wind up in jail. If they line the coffers of congressmen, they can buy the same result without risking imprisonment. Congress simply does the dirty work for them by enacting sugar import quotas and tariffs. 


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

.


    You conservatives are so damn judgmental! Remember what Jesus said: Get off your high horse and remove the mustard seed from thine own eye before casting stones at my glass house!

Friday, January 20, 2006

.


    So, now there's another new audiotape from Osama bin Laden, and that just shows how backwards these Islamists are in that they still haven't moved onto CDs. Why can't he publish his threats on iTunes?
    ~Frank J.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

.


    Democrats have always been very close to God during election years, but it comes as a complete surprise to all of us that He actually exists. I always assumed that He was just a fictional boogeyman the cons made up to lay a guilt trip on everybody and ruin our good time. But as long as He remains nonjudgmental and doesn’t try to force his morals on anyone, he’s more than welcome in the Big Tent.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

.


    The author of the book "Million Little Pieces” was on Larry King last night, defending himself against charges that he exaggerated details of his best-selling memoir. He said, "Only 18 pages of a 430-page book are in question”. It’s 95% accurate. I believe this is known as the "Clinton defense.”            ~Leno


Friday, January 13, 2006

.


    The AP notes with an overindulgence of respect the
continuing efforts of John Kerry to run for president -- in any election that will tolerate him.
    ~Captain Ed

Thursday, January 12, 2006

.


    Would somebody please hold Ted Kennedy’s head under the water until the bubbles stop? Thanking you in advance.
    ~ Taylor Holmes

Share the Love

 

I received an email this evening with a request to let people know about this wonderful opportunity! It is a program to send Valentine cards to the troops! Now I realize that Valentine's Day is at least 5 weeks away, but with all things military post, it's best to be early!

So, it you would like to send a Valentine wish to a special soldier you can do so using this link:
Visit Operation: A Bit of Home, and click on the big red heart. We will send a valentine to a soldier in your name with your Valentines message. We are fundraising to send more boxes to the Freedom Rest R&R Facility in Iraq. Valentines are $1.00, but you can give more!
There is more to Operation: A Bit Of Home than just Valentines. Here is more about this program and what they are doing for our men and women in uniform serving in Iraq.
Our Troops In Iraq Need Your Help......
Send them "A Bit of Home"
Imagine being thousands of miles away from anything familiar... wearing full battle gear in incredible 140 degree heat, no family, no TV, nothing to remind you of home..... Or think about not being able to sleep in your own safe bed, instead, there are deadly bombs and mortars going off just yards away...

This a normal occurrence for our American Soldiers in Iraq

Operation: A Bit of Home is an organization founded in Rolesville NC, and has spread from the East Coast to the West Coast. Operation: A Bit of Home sends needed items to a Rest and Relaxation facility called "Freedom Rest ". Located in central Baghdad, the facility services approximately 150 different soldiers every day. The three day retreat is arranged for soldiers who have been in combat, on convoy duty, and under fire. It helps them to relax and recuperate in a safe resort-like atmosphere. While at Freedom Rest, soldiers receive high quality treatment and have access to clean linens, real beds, swimming pools, entertainment, movies, good food, and sports like basketball, football. This is very important to the well being of the soldiers mental, physical, and emotional needs. We also provide hygiene items to Forward Operating Bases, Called FOB's where soldiers frequently have to stay for the night unexpectedly, and have little or no access to any hygiene supplies. They are lucky just to get a cot!

These facilities' needs are not supplied by the government, but by normal folks like us. They aren't supplied with soap, shampoo, deodorant or feminine products, books, movies, or entertainment items; thats where Operation: A Bit of Home comes into action.

Operation: A Bit of Home sends several boxes of needed goods to our soldiers every day. Not only is postage expensive but gathering and boxing supplies is time consuming. That is why help is needed in so many ways. We can help you get started collecting and shipping your own items to the troops! Just e-mail us and ask! We can provide special mailing labels, certificates of appreciation, and great advice! Our supplies are used by troops at Freedom Rest, FOB's and are also taken by departing troops and spread to other soldiers in every corner of Iraq.
So check out the site and if you've wanted to show your support for the troops but you weren't sure how...well, this is a really great way to do it!

(Don't forget Adopt-A-Platoon and Soldiers' Angels, either!)
posted by Anna
 
 
 

    In South Korea, a man is in critical condition after setting himself on fire in a courtroom. The disgruntled gentleman was upset over a $300 fine for disturbing the peace. The Good news is that he was taken to the hospital almost immediately. The Bad news is he was fined $200 for smoking in court.