Saturday, December 31, 2005

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    There is a struggle in Iraq between good and evil, between those striving for freedom and liberty and those striving for death and destruction.

Friday, December 30, 2005

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   Shotgun wielding Pinkertons unleashed the attack dogs and full-bore firehoses as race riots engulfed Hotlanta earlier today after the state legislature approved the reactionary, Jim Crow-like message that you actually have to show some proof of who you are to vote. Georgia state Rep. Alisha Thomas Morgan let’s the po-po know that they be messing with a soulja, or possibly a knight.
    ~Smantix

Thursday, December 29, 2005

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    Our treatment of Kwanzaa provides a revealing sign of how far we have yet to travel on the road to reconciliation. The white establishment has thrown in with it, not just to cash in on the business, but to patronize black activists and shut them up.
    ~Tony Snow

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Worth Forwarding

From: John Mikelson
Sent: Monday, December 26, 2005 11:35 PM


I have a special request. I'm sure many of you are currently writing cards to friends and family. If you can, please send an extra one (or 10, or 20) to our American military heroes who are recuperating from wounds this Christmas Season. Please enclose a short note thanking them for their service and personal sacrifice. They are the protectors of our freedom, we must let them know.

Your small act of kindness will be greatly appreciated.
Here's the address...

A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20307-5001

If you would, please forward this message to your email friends.

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    South Carolina is already bemoaning the "loss" of education funding that will happen when North Carolina's gambling enterprise starts up. If all the lottery money is "extra" money to be spent on education, why the problems?
Because SC, like every other government that's addicted to gambling programs, cannot stand ANY decrease in any spending program, EVER.

 

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

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    A heartwarming holiday reminder from the AP:  Things in Iraq suck, freedom isn’t really free, a vote isn’t really a vote, Christmas mass is a terror event, and in the old days—before they were torn asunder out of fear and the mass exodus caused by post-invasion security concerns—happy families ran barefoot through Baghdad laughing and flying kites… 

 

Monday, December 26, 2005

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Your 2005 Song Is
Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

"Love forever love is free.
Let's turn forever you and me."

In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

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    Before we get started, to our Christian views I want to say Merry Christmas. To our Jewish viewers, Happy Hanukah. To our African American viewers, Happy Kwanza. To our viewers working at Wal-Mart, Feliz Navidad.
    ~Leno   

Friday, December 23, 2005

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    The good news is that transit workers are now going back to work. The bad news is the city's cabs and commuter vans are charging them $3,500 each to get there.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas

OK, everyone, sing along, cadence notwithstanding ...

    On the 2th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 8-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

and...

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas !!!!

(unless otherwise prohibited by law)

* Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that your have a thoroughly adequate day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

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    Kwazy Kwanza, enjoy your ancient holiday that dates all the way back to the 1960's.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

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    Enough is enough, their [New York City Transit Workers ] benefits are as rich as you see anywhere in this country and they are still complaining. I don't get it.
    ~Craig DeRosa

Monday, December 19, 2005

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    I'd have thought the idea that the Media was biased to the left was fairly obvious(except to the Left who call it the SCLM or 'So-Called Liberal Media") but some eggheads did a study to see if it was anyway.
    ~spacemonkey

Sunday, December 18, 2005

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    Do you know that George Bush and his father have nicknames for each other? Like President Bush calls his dad "forty-one” because he was the forty-first president. His father calls George W. "forty-three” because that’s his approval rating.
    ~Leno

Saturday, December 17, 2005

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From IMAO replies:
    Hmm, I was just thinking what a waste it is to execute these people, but not use their organs. The method of execution prevents this. Now, if we had execution by surgery, we could take out the vital organs and then kill them. Better yet, we could take out their vital organs, and then have the doctors try to wake them up...
    ~Posted by Brad
 
    If we removed all their vital organs and they were still able to wake them, they'd be Democrats.
    ~Posted by Undercover Hippie

 

Friday, December 16, 2005

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    You can tell that the new GOP video has struck a raw nerve among the Democrats. Rather than try to debunk it as factually incorrect, they do this.

Since torture seems to be the topic of the minute

 

People were dropped into you, and basically deep-fried to a golden brown. It probably takes a little while for you to lose your temper, but when you do...

What torture would you be?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

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    Anybody who doesn’t appreciate what America has done and President Bush, let them go to hell.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

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    Al Sharpton is getting his own show on CBS. I believe it’s called "The Amazing Race Card”.
    ~Leno

.

 
You Are Blitzen
Always in good spirits, you're the reindeer who loves to party down with Santa.

Why You're Naughty: You're always blitzed on Christmas Eve, while flying!

Why You're Nice: You mix up a mean eggnog martini.

Monday, December 12, 2005

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    Like "The Duke" before him, Arnold Schwarzenegger has become indistinguishable from the characters he plays in his movies. Instead of “terminating” every Sarah Connor in the phonebook, however, Ahhhnuld has taken it upon himself to snuff out beloved children’s book authors with cute, cuddly sounding nicknames.

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    Today the First Lady read the "Grinch” to a group of school children. There was an unfortunate event when she was interrupted by Dick Cheney when he yelled, "Go Grinch!”
    ~Conan

Sunday, December 11, 2005

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     I don’t think President Bush really understood the meaning of Hanukah. After the candles were lit, he sang happy birthday and blew them out.
    ~Leno

Saturday, December 10, 2005


    Bono is 44. He's too old to "rock." I know people have been saying the same thing about Rolling Stones for years now, and every time the Rolling Stones go on tour, they prove their critics right.
    ~Maddox

Friday, December 09, 2005

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The guys at Sacred Cow Burgers have done it again. 'Tis true that one picture is worth a thousand words. These traitorous bastards should be hauled off and shot.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

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    Even when a psychotic break during courtroom proceedings left an obviously disturbed Saddam Hussein shouting,"Allah Allah Oxen Free!" at the top of his lungs while holding a copy of the Quran for Dummies, he was still viewed as being more credible than his defense adviser, former U.S. Attorney General Ramsey Clark. *

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

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    The creator of the game, Rockstar Games, has stated that it will offer a downloadable patch to fix the sex issue in the PC versions, and is working on a new version of the game that will prevent this content from being unlocked in the future. Thank God. I'll be the first person to download and patch my PC version of "Grand Theft Auto." I want to shoot people in the face, bang prostitutes, traffic drugs, steal cars, and terrorize police officers without this filthy smut in my game.
    ~Maddox

Sunday, December 04, 2005

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    Americans are no longer in love with freedom.  In fact, the case can be made that Americans are afraid of freedom.  Oh, they want to be free to go on vacation and to chose where to live, who to marry and what to wear each day, but that just about covers it.  Americans  want the government to educate their children, guarantee their jobs, determine their wages, provide them with medical care, pay for their prescriptions,  ensure their comfort in retirement, regulate their business competitors,  and control the actions of their neighbors.  If you suggest that the responsibility for any of these factors be placed back into the hands of the individual the screams and howls of outrage and indignation will be heard across the country.
    ~Boortz

Saturday, December 03, 2005

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    Question for Amazon, If the book is so good, why are you having to cut the price 32% 2 weeks after it's release? Mark another company up on the BUSTED list.
    ~GOP&College

Friday, December 02, 2005

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    MoveOn.org has a new ad out, which includes a shot of "American troops stuck in Iraq".
Trouble is, they used a picture of British troops in the video, one of whom is wearing shorts (which are not part of the American uniform).
Normally I'd just say "buncha dumbasses" and ignore it, but as we all know, it's not the lie, it's the cover-up that'll bring you down.
    ~Harvey

Thursday, December 01, 2005

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    The ancient world's Cindy Sheehans, Al Frankens, and Michael Moores all lived in Carthage. That's why schoolchildren learn about the Roman Empire and not the Carthaginian.