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    Congress has asked several current and former baseball players to testify before them this week about the steroid scandal but only two players have said they'll show up. Apparently the others players don't have the balls.

    ~Craig Ferguson

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    Condoleezza Rice says she wants to return to academia in 2008. She plans to go from the White House to an expensive University, where she'll trade tutoring one rich dumb kid for tutoring a bunch of rich
dumb kids.

    ~Jake Novak

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    President Bush, with full support from France Monday, demanded that Syria exit Lebanon. Within one day Syrian troops were retreating to their own border. You can always tell which countries were French
colonies by the speed of their retreats.

    ~Argus Hamilton

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