Monday, December 08, 2008

Ford CEO Breaks Down On Drive Back From D.C.; Demands $600 Million From AAA


Ford CEO Alan Mulally, driving a 2009 Ford Explorer Hybrid, broke down on I-76 just east of the Ohio state line and demanded $600 million from the AAA tow truck driver assisting his vehicle.

"The least the Auto Club can do is give me $600 million to complete my trip," Mullaly told a hastily assembled Youngstown, Ohio news conference. "Where would the Triple-A be without Ford? They'd have a lot fewer cars to tow and repair. That's where they'd be."

The AAA driver, whose name was Ed, reportedly told Mr. Mullaly that he "didn't have that kind of money on him" and "would have to call people back at the station."

Mullaly said that he "wasn't looking for a bailout, but instead, just a loan of $600 million" to "tide him over" until he got back to corporate offices in Detroit.

"We can be profitable again if we just start making cars people like," Mullaly said. "I mean, that could happen. At least in theory."

Ed, the AAA driver, said that Mullaly requested at least $50 of the $600 million in one-dollar-bills, "so he could pay his executives their new salaries and also tip the topless shoeshine girls at the rest stops on the Interstate between here and Michigan," according to reports.
The Big 3 Detroit CEO's are set to ask for a bailout again today, this time in front of a House committee. They actually don't need to ask again, it's just that they need another day to find some place to recharge their electric cars.

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