Tuesday, November 16, 2004

More PC terms

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or "MOANER" - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not "EASY" - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..

4. She is not 'DUMB" - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"  - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not "NAG YOU" - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a "SLUT" - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED..

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT WHORE" - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

13. She is not a "LESBIAN" - She is a "VAGITARIAN".


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION..

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN! DRUNK" - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.
 
 
 

    Hillary Clinton wouldn't say Friday when asked if she will run for president in four years. She was too busy to go into detail. When reporters caught up with her she was halfway between a Bible class and her appointment at the shooting range.
    ~Argus Hamilton

 

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