THE 12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING
On the First Day..... We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.
On the Second Day..... We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard rolls.
On the Third Day..... We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.
On the Fourth Day..... We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.
On the Fifth Day..... We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of a naked turkey carcass.
On the Sixth Day..... We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.
On the Seventh Day..... We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.
On the Eighth Day..... The word ''vegetarian'' keeps popping into our heads.
On the Ninth Day..... We check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.
On the Tenth Day..... We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.
On the Eleventh Day..... We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.
On the Twelfth Day..... We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers. And everybody says, "Amen
New York fashion mannequins are being modeled after Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce, with larger rear ends. You know we are getting overweight when even fake people are getting fatter asses.~Jim Barach
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