Saturday, December 11, 2004

A Nation of Darwin Awards

 Christmas in Australia!
 A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of Statistics
 
*31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
*19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate.
 
*Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents.
*101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
*18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
*A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with teeth or eye socket.
[Exuse me for interjecting here but... eye socket!?!?!? ~DaD]
 
*5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.
*3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their
tongue.
*142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.
*58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
 
and finally:
*8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep (passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.
YEP! It's great to be Australian!

 

    Here's a late breaking bulletin from the Bush White House -- the White House Christmas tree has submitted its resignation.
    ~David Letterman

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