Dear Abby

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge
credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them
off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money
He says he pays the minimum and lets our kids worry about the rest,
but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been
so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us.
The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of
expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten
religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with
people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with
Muslims. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone
can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's
just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed,
Lost

Dear Lost,

Stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for
free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you.
You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck
with the idiot for another year!
Signed,
Abby