Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.
After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit it can't fly.
ABC says it will no longer broadcast the Miss America Pageant. The network says it already wasted too much time airing overly made-up people making empty statements when it broadcast the presidential debates.~Jake Novak
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