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     Astronomers had a meeting and voted to strip Pluto of its status as a planet.  This is a big deal.  School text books will have to be re-printed.  Charts and diagrams will have to be re-designed.  Two entire episodes of "Star Trek" will have to be re-filmed.

    ~Toms Lake Humor Company

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    The results of a new study are out saying New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. 

    ~Conan O'Brien

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     Israel bought two more German-made nuclear submarines Thursday. Iran immediately announced it will also buy a nuclear submarine as soon as it can figure out how to strap one on a suicide bomber.  

    ~HaBlog

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      Changing 'french fries' to 'freedom fries' was arguably the Republican Congress' greatest accomplishment. Democrats would have called them 'surrender fries."  

    ~Stephen Colbert

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   As usual the Liberals offer a mixture of sound and original ideas. Unfortunately none of the sound ideas is original and none of the original ideas is sound.

    ~Harold Mcmillan

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  At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

    ~P.J. O'Rourke  

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    Former President Ford has been admitted to the Mayo clinic. Nobody knows why, really. None of Ford's people are sharing any information. Reporters are a bit miffed I tell you. They’re not used to dealing with former presidents who can keep their mouths shut.

    ~RightWingDuck

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    British authorities said they were able to detect the terrorist plot using a surveillance program that the "New York Times” hadn’t got around to exposing yet.

    ~Leno

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     Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
    ~Mark Twain

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    Before he was assigned to cover the Hezbollah-Israeli Conflict in Beirut by Reuters, it turns out that Adnan Hajj had been given another assignment long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

    ~Laurence Simon

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   Fidel Castro has transferred power to his brother Raul. The transition is seamless. Cuba’s men and women will see absolutely no change in the lack of government services.

    ~Alan Ray

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