He must have been on vacation

So Osama bin Laden's newest home movie is out skipping theaters and going right to TV before the election, Michael Moore must be jealous. Anyways, this time he has confirmed that his heart is still thumping, not by citing the thousand KIAs in Iraq but by naming the Dem hopeful by name, I couldn't tell from the tape if he was wearing a JFK campaign button or not.
What is interesting, and I haven't ound mentioned yet, is that he seems more willing to end the Jihad on America. With the first few tapes he was all threats to the rest of the world and talking smack the best you can expect an Arab to do. Last year he tried to split the coalition apart by singling out America and promising no attacks against any other nations if they stayed out of the rumble (the Spaniards showed the rest of the world what they're made of didn't they?). Now he's like, if you just leave the Muslims alone we'll call it a draw America.
Dude, YOU tried to pick a fight with us for almost a full decade, we've only been after you for a few short years. Payback is coming...

To be absolutely honest, what I feel really bad about
is that I don't feel worse. That's the ineffectual liberal's problem in a
nutshell.
~Michael Frayn; Observer (Aug. 1965)

Go Ann, Go!

Ann Coulter's new article kicks maximum ass! Don't spend another minute wasting your time on this blog

go

go

GO!

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
~Plato

Errrrrr, why are you still reading?

GO!!!

New Viruses

These are always being updated and sent about people's email, if you haven't tripped across them before, enjoy :)

These are always bouncing around the email channels, enjoy:

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~P.J. O'Rourke

Bill Of No Rights

 

    We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, and delusional.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not just you. You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need. But we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government-run health care.

ARTICLE VI

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII

You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX

You don't have the right to a job. All of us want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times. But we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

 

 

 

---

    Chris Cramner, a devil-worshipping sailor in the Royal Navy, has become the first registered Satanist in the British Armed Forces. But Satan is reportedly not happy with the news, and can't understand why Cramner couldn't get a nice job as a lawyer or a politician like the rest of his followers.

    ~Jake Novak

---

 

America?

Two Iraqis meet in California.  One starts to greet the other in Arabic, the language of their native country.

The other Iraqi waves him away contemptuously and says, "We're in America now.  Speak Spanish!"

---

    An international watchdog group says Iraq is likely to see rampant corruption in its oil industry unless the U.S. and Britain do something to combat bribery and theft of public money. But to do that, someone will first have to do something to combat bribery and the rampant theft of public money in the U.S. and Britain.

    ~Jake Novak

---

Vote John Kerry!

This short movie has a pro-Kerry slant but  is hilarious!

 

 

http://daemlich.net/2491

 

 

---

Bush is a warmongering corporate whore who whores himself out to his corporate whoremasters!

    ~Liberal Larry

---

Running Eagle

During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.  Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however.  He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted "YES" 9,637 times for every Indian issue ever introduced.

 

Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.

 

After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit it can't fly.

---

    ABC says it will no longer broadcast the Miss America Pageant. The network says it already wasted too much time airing overly made-up people making empty statements when it broadcast the presidential debates.

    ~Jake Novak

---

You Know You're A Poverty Pimp...

1. When you are overheard saying that talking to the people you are supposed to be helping makes you physically ill.

2. When you start a series of for-profit ventures to "fund" your not-for-profit ...and you are much more involved in those.

3. When getting financial donations has become the vast majority of your effort and time.

4. When you become really really good at using race, class and gender discussions to prevent any criticism of what you are doing.

5. When your offices are furnished much better then anything your clients will ever own in their entire lifetime.

6. When you feed people far worse things then you yourself would ever eat or even give to your dog.

7. When that photograph of Billie Holiday is the only heroin addict ever willingly allowed into your presence.

8. When you are happy hearing about squatters getting evicted because you can

get more funding for your housing program.

9. When you find yourself thinking or saying that if one more homeless person would freeze to death this winter, your budget for next year would be assured.

10. When you leave your office in fear of the people your supposed to be helping.

11. When you don't dare to answer the phone that rings at 2 am as it might be one of your clients.

12. When you get that rush of fear from coming face to face with your hungry clients out in front of the hotel as you enter your $500 dollar a plate fundraiser.

13. When there is debate at your Conference of Homeless Service Agencies as to whether you will feed the homeless you brought in to speak at your banquet.

14. When you call the police to have that long-haired bearded guy arrested for trying to teach your clients how fend for themselves for free.

15. When you're told to hide the city's free guide to homeless services so that the clients have to come back over and over since your program gets money each time they sign up... and you do it.

16. When your donation money is used politically to expand your nonprofit operations, which allows you to pay more pimps’ salaries--that would seem astronomical to the poor they are "serving." To organize the expansion of your nonprofit organization which results in more political clout enabling you to get more public and private donation money.

17. When you've served as a shelter director for 20+ [or 10+ or 5+] years and have no real idea where else the homeless could go or what happens to the homeless that you've had to turn away.

18. You have to go to extraordinary lengths to keep those who are not poor from seeing what your soup kitchen looks like on a "normal" day.

19. When you always, invariably cut services when decisions have to be made between retaining services for the poor or laying off one or two college-educated social workers who own their own home and whose life-partners work.

20. When you spend much more of your time making the poor people you "serve" jump through hoops and "hurdles" then actually filling their needs.

21. When you spend 20 minutes lecturing a homeless person about not selling goods you provide before giving them the single bus token they need to leave your facility.

22. When you admit to having dreams about ways to make being poor as difficult as possible for your clients... and you think some of them are pretty good.

23. When your government funded housing program is designed with as many hurdles as possible so that the vast majority of the poor can't qualify, letting you sell the units at market rate.

24. When most of the money for your "advocacy " group goes for four star hotels and your staff platinum credit card.

25. When you put barbed wire on your shelter fence and use the fear of freezing to lock your clients in at night.

26. When you are asked to schedule your soup kitchen's meal times so the homeless are less visible on the street to businessmen...and you do it.

27. When you don't care that you tell your homeless clients to call several programs for help, then to call you back despite the fact you know that they don't have 50 cents for the pay phone and you are likely to be out of the office anyway.

28. When your advocacy group uses the threat of protests by the people you represent as a way of extorting donation money out of oppressive corporations.... and without getting them to change their policies.

29. When you seek [usually white] middle-class prestige college-graduated applicants who have rarely seen and never experienced poverty to manage programs for the homeless rather then promote qualified [usually people of color] ex-homeless already within your organization.

30. When you lie, claiming you don't have access to the keys, rather then let the homeless go to the bathroom outside of your shelter's normal hours.

31. When you fire any of your employees who criticize the social services industry and your place in it.

32. When someone comments on how the numbers are declining at your shelter and the first comment is: "Well, we wouldn't want to be out of a job or anything."

33. When your job performance appraisal is tied to your willingness to remove children from the homes of poverty stricken parents.

34. When most of your events feature open or cash bars though most of your clients have drug or alcohol problems.

35. When you make over one hundred thousand dollars per year as your clients eat out of garbage cans yet you are always grateful when others point out your selflessness.

36. When the only decent food donations end up in your freezer and you justify this by saying that there wasn't enough to serve everyone so it might as well serve your holiday guests and not go to waste.

37. When you physically attack or permit your employees to attack your clients when they insist on their right to a drink of water.

38. When you could care less that a group of large violent men actually run the details of your shelter as you get paid well anyway and it saves you from having to interact with your clients.

39. When your collect donation money in order to collect more donation money.

40. When your primary concern when entering into anti- poverty coalition activities is who will get the credit.

---

A Montreal Expos fan paid $2,605 for the last hot dog sold during the team's final home game before being relocated to Washington, DC. Usually if you want to spend that much money on a weenie, you have to make a donation to a political campaign.

~Jake Novak

---

Special Anouncement

    You can preview the whole 42:09 video online FREE right now! 
http://www.buttondepress.com/BostonManifesto/stolenhonor.wmv

    ~DaD

 

John Kerry Tried to Stop You from Seeing This Film

John Kerry and his Democratic allies are so worried that you will see this film, they have launched a major effort with the FCC so that Sinclair Broadcasting will not be able to air it before election day. Kerry's aides have even threatened Sinclair, saying that if they are elected they will exact revenge. Those threats, so far, are not working. But John Kerry has reason to be afraid that you and millions of Americans will see "Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal." In fact, this video documentary includes many of the same Vietnam Veterans and POWs who have appeared in the Swift Boat commercials -- commercials that have rocked the Kerry campaign and caused his first major decline in the polls. Go Here Now to Get Stolen Honor The REAL John Kerry Exposed When John Kerry appeared before the U. S. Senate in the spring of 1971, his anti-war testimony accusing American soldiers of barbaric acts in Vietnam sent shock waves throughout America and the world In Stolen Honor you will hear former POWs tell their bone-chilling stories of their brutal life as prisoners of war in North Vietnam You will hear about John Kerry – and how these POWs suffered as their Communist torturers read them John Kerry's words accusing American soldiers of atrocities, including the killing of innocent babies Like John Kerry, these evil torturers demanded the POWs confess to Kerry's "war crimes" allegations Unlike John Kerry, these men would never denounce the United States In Stolen Honor you will find out how John Kerry's actions helped to extend the Vietnam War and continue the suffering of our men. These surviving American heroes and their families reveal how they were betrayed by Kerry then and now For the first time -- and without media censorship and editing -- they are speaking out in Stolen Honor They are speaking out against the lies, false testimony and distortions made by a young John Kerry. After viewing this film there will be little doubt why John Kerry is so afraid you will watch it. You Can Help to Make Sure Millions See This Film – Go Here Now! About Stolen Honor Funding for the documentary's production was made possible by Pennsylvania Vietnam veterans who wanted the truth to be told. Stolen Honor is produced by Red White and Blue Productions, Inc., an independent documentary producer. The 45-minute film includes testimony from highly decorated POW's and their wives of previously undisclosed details regarding life in the North Vietnamese prison camps after John Kerry's congressional testimony and public anti-war statements and activities. Carlton Sherwood, President of Red White and Blue Production and producer of Stolen Honor is a decorated veteran of Vietnam and a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. Mr. Sherwood served with the 2nd Battalion 4th Marines while in Vietnam before forging a journalistic career. Sherwood also worked as a reporter for Gannett News Service. Get Your Copy of Stolen Honor Today – Help Our Veterans – Go Here Now!

---

    Senators Kerry and Edwards have missed so many crucial votes this Congress that I was beginning to believe there were only 98 members of the U.S. Senate.

    ~Chuck Canterbury; President of Fraternal Order of Police,  the nation's largest police labor organization

---

Black Pandering

    This gives the Repub talking heads a chance to bring out the truths about which party voted against the Civil Rights Act, which party needed to have the National Guard stationed in front of their school to allow minorities in, and which party decided to put the Stars & Bars in their State flags as an aftermath.

    If the GOP is smart they would take this race baiting add and shove it right up some Dem ass!

    ~DaD

 

 

---

    [George] Wallace's heirs have traded in the white robes of the redneck Klan for the rainbow sheets of the multicultural clan. 

    ~Michelle Malkin

---

 

Trouble for Johny

Hmm, Kerry's foreign support seems to be falling.

 

 

---

    It's the last minute of the campaign and both candidates are using fear tactics. And honest to God, my fear is that one of them will actually get elected.

    ~David Letterman

---

Real Fantasy Football

I managed to absolutely piss my Madden05 team off last night. I had taken Cleveland to 3 Superbowls with 3 undefeated seasons too boot! Week 6 of the fourth season I had 4 veterans coming up for contract negotiation the next spring which would have broke me so I traded all of them for four 1st rd. draft picks, two 2nd rd., and two 3rd. round picks.
I thought it was a great deal since the backup players had been bitching they wanted to start and were ready to take over anyways.Well the whole team has revolted against me and no longer want to play, none of the fans want to come to the games and the national newspaper dedicated EVERY article to how bad an owner I am...

BUT I SAVED MILLIONS!!!

Bwaaaaa-haaa haa ha ha

Now if I can just figure out how to pry the cash out of the Playstation2...

With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in
my hand. She lit it.
~Rodney Dangerfield

Bush Rally - Daytona Beach

T'was the day of the Bush Rally - Daytona Beach,

The Prez was committed to give us a speech!

I switched with a coworker to attend the event,

And dressed like a patriot which was time so well spent.

In my Bush/Cheney t-shirt and "W" pin,

I set off quite early full of vigor and vim.

My Corolla was decked out in I-love-Bush stickers,

And my "Kerry as Batman" brought plenty of snickers.

Off to Orlando to pick up my date,

My niece Erika who saved me from fate.

Who agreed to accompany me to the fete',

So I wouldn't be lonely, her time she sublet.

On "W", On Cheney, On Condi, On Karl,

We chanted as we passed, each Kerry-ite car.

With our focus on conservative values we flew,

Past Melbourne, and Titusville, Edgewater too.

We arrived in Daytona, and searched for the site,

And finally found it with a bit of a fight.

The line was quite long, as it snaked through the lot,

And several protesters held up signs which they brought.

Their ranks were diminished, and sad as can be,

And several Bushies gave short shrift with glee.

We bought us some buttons of GWB,

And pinned them on proudly for a nominal fee.

Eventually made it to the head of the line,

Security tight, though we made it through fine.

We arrived on the lawn of the Bush Rally ground,

And pushed to the front so GW could be found.

The day was a scorcher, our skin might soon char,

Our sunblock we stupidly left in the car.

We waited on stadium seats, for an hour,

For the arrival of Bush, his hour of power.

His fans, how they loved him! His constituents whistled,

As they watched Air Force One settle down on a thistle.

when what to our wondering eyes did appear,

But Bush, Jeb and Laura, a site that's so dear.

He pounded with glee, and rolled up his shirt,

And sliced and diced Kerry, way down in the dirt.

His plan was courageous and chalk-filled with hope,

While Kerry came off as a flip flopping dope.

We roared and we clapped and we shouted with glee,

As we watched our dear President make history.

With his tax cuts, and anti-abortion"ist" stance,

He shoots down the terrorists, leaves nothing to chance.

No mercy, no leniency, no negotiations.

These excuses for humans, with no hearts, and no nations.

They spread terror around, to all parts of our world,

But Old Glory will conquer, as her banner's unfurled.

Thank God for a man, who is sure of his views,

Not flip flopping according to the latest poll spews.

November the second is soon to arrive,

And I urge you to stop at the polls as you drive.

Vote for George, Vote for W, Vote for GWB.

However you slice it, don't vote for Kerry.

A socialist nation is what you will get,

If you vote Kerry and Edwards, his girlie-man pet.
--

Posted by bossmom to Conservatives Rock at 10/19/2004 10:08:45 PM

---

You know what's fascinating about this, you've got Bill Bennett gambling, Rush Limbaugh on drugs, and Bill O'Reilly being sued for sexual harassment. Apparently being conservative is a lot more fun than it used to be.
~Jay Leno

---

from a Son of Sonora

 

----- Original Message -----

From: VMatheny

 

I wanted to share this with you guys.  Sonora, Texas is a small town down the road from where I live. They were our biggest rival football team :)  

 

 I did verify as much of this as I could.  Obit on Shane can be found at http://obituaries.sastandardtimes.com/obit.cfm?ID=4192.  I think proof of Shannon is documented by the Texas Tech Alumni site

http://apobetasigma.texasbrothers.com/directory/a-b.htm

 and I verified the father through infospace.  I am not sure why I felt compelled to verify all of this.  It comes from a good source.  I guess I fear a snopes.com rebuttle:)

 

Vonnie

 

 

Dear Friends and Family,

Tommy and Beverly Arnwine live here in Sonora. They received this letter from their son, Shannon, who is a Capt. in the Marines.  Shannon wrote the letter at 3:00 pm Sunday and sent it to his parents, who received it at 5:15 am Sunday (the following day with time difference).  Shane Folmar is mentioned in the letter.  He was a local Sonora 2002 graduate, who lost his life in active fire.  The funeral was held in Sonora two weeks ago.

Shannon's Dad read the following e-mail letter at their church Sunday.

Brady

 -----

 

Hey Mom and Dad,

I am doing well, it was good to hear your voices yesterday, thank God for technology.  Y'all had said that y'all might have a letter of mine printed in the paper, or read at church, I would like at least the people in Sonora to understand what is really going on over here, not what they here on the news.

My first taste of the middle east was when I landed at Kuwaiti International, I thought what a dirty, hot, disgusting place, the wind was blowing extremely hot, and when I arrived on station here a Camp Fallujah, it was even worse.  How could God be in this place.  Then I met the people of this land, they stunk, they were uneducated, we have to constantly watch them because some are thieves, I thought again how could God be in this place.  If you watch the news especially CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS they all show you the death and destruction that is happening over, Soldiers and Marines dying daily, one would think that we were losing this war.  Just like the Vietnam War, the public thinks we are losing, but just like the Vietnam War, we in truth are winning.  We have won every conflict, every skirmish, every fire fight but the media wants the great American people to believe this is a losing cause.  It isn't...

Today, I was able to go to church, it was held at the base theater.  With a laptop computer, a one eye (projector), two speakers and a microphone the chaplain played some praise music.  I sat there and watched, watched the Marines, Soldiers and Sailors walk in and greet each other, all different ranks from the a Navy Captain all the way down to a Marine Private, and all perfect strangers but all brothers and sisters.  As I listened to the music, I began to notice, an awesome presences.  God was in this place.  I have been in a church where I felt the presence of God but not like this, I fought back the tears, can't have the young warriors see a Marine Captain cry.  Overtaken by His Presence, I began thinking about all the info y'all see on the news and what the newspapers tell you about this place.

I was wrong, God is in this place.  The beginning of life, so close to land of milk and honey, and what is it, a war zone.  Rockets, mortars, small arms fire, IEDs, how could this be, is this where it all began?  This is why we are here, these people are good people they are our brothers and sisters.  They were so brutalized by Saddam Hussein regime, that when I walk by them they cower from me.  Yes, some are thieves but they try to steal out of necessity, these people need us and want us here, they have told me this themselves.  Because we are here, they have jobs again, they get paid, they put food on their tables, their schools are open and children are learning, their hospitals are open and working, their infrastructure is up and running.  Do you see this on the news?  We are helping our neighbors, these young Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, and Airmen are doing wonders over here, I am in complete awe of them.  This cause that we are fighting and dying for is a worthy cause, what we are doing over is the right thing to do.  You have paid with your own flesh and blood, Shane Folmar died a hero, on his feet, facing the enemy.  He gave his life so that this battle would be fought here, not at home. 

 

God Bless you all and God Bless America.  Pray for us.

Semper Fi
Shannon

 

 

---

    The most successful politician is the one who says what the people are thinking most often in the loudest voice.

    ~Theodore Roosevelt

---

Cock 'O The Walk

BREWSTER THE ROOSTER 

     Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. 

That took an awful lot of Whitey's time so Whitey got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. 
Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster,  a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's bell  hadn't rung at all! 
Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Whitey's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. 
Whitey was so proud of Brewster, he entered him in the county fair... and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges. 

 The result... 

The judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. 

Clearly Brewster was a politician.  Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them.

 

---

    Michael Moore prefers to run his mockumentary Fahrenheit 9/11 on CBS because of their excellent track record of fact checking.

    ~DaDougster

---

The package from down under

I got a package in the mail today from a chess buddy in Australia, he sent me a tube of vegemite and a flag.
DW is like, "You can buy that stuff in the store."
"Na-aaa!" I growl
"It's right next to the peanut but..."
"BUT IT'S NOT FROM OZ-TRALIA!!!" I interrupt.
"It's made by Kraft" she points out.

Women, can't live with 'em, can't chop them up and bury them in the backyard... well, not to many times or the authorities get suspicious.

He and I exchange packages on a regular basis a real nice guy but a true believing socialist, the conversations can get really interesting. I'll copy and paste a few of them here in the future. Anyways, he mentioned that the vegemite was best on toast so I toasted a few pieces of bread in the oven, put a healthy layer of the spread on one and sampled...

I almost bit my tongue off trying to get the flavor out of my mouth so I did what any husband would do, regained my composure, pretended I liked it and called DW into the kitchen to try.

She said it tasted like intense soy sauce. With her on my side we then went after the kids (yes, we have a very vindictive family), 2S said it tasted like Play-doh, 1S gave it the best review saying it tasted like baloney... but doesn't want anymore.

I don't look at my actions so much as a prank as I do a scientific study... 4 out of 4 Americans don't care for vegemite now where's my government grant? Hey, that reminds me, I bought one of those squirt tubes that you fill with water and you put under the toilet seat a few weeks ago but haven't seen it around. DW must have saw it and intercepted it :(

---

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
~Will Rogers

---

Limo Driver

    After getting Pope John Paul's entire luggage loaded into the limo (he doesn't travel light!), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave? 
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today." 
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning. 
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope. 

  Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. 
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, my God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. 
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five. 
"So bust him," said the Chief. 
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop. 
Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!" 
"No, I mean really important," said the cop. 
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger." 
Chief: "Governor?" 
Cop: "Bigger." 
Chief: "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?" 
Cop: "I think it's God!" 
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?" 
Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"

 

 

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 Reaching into one's own pocket to assist his fellow man is noble and worthy of praise. Reaching into another person's pocket to assist one's fellow man is despicable and worthy of condemnation.

    ~Walter Williams; Socialism is Evil

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Top 10

Top 10 of the most scary Haunted House scenes

 

10. The monster/actors prove that they can manage a job that doesn't pay minimum wage!

 

9. Barbra Streisand coming out with another CD.

 

8. You look out the window to see some guy siphoning gas out of your tank.

 

7. News of another Freddy vs. Jason movie.

 

6. Michael Moore hungry, naked... and your covered in cake icing. 

 

5. A French general taking over operations in Iraq.

 

4.  MiL making dinner tonight.

 

3. Your reminded the majority of pro athletes are college educated millionaires.

 

2. Some guy from the IRS saying he's going to put you through a full audit.

 

... and the number one most scary haunted house scene:

 

1. John Kerry swearing in as President!

 

 

    ~A Dougster original!

 

 

 

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    Family Circle announced that Laura Bush's cookie recipe beat Teresa Heinz's cookie recipe. We are a food-oriented nation. The reason Americans hold elections near the holidays is in order to make it easier to separate the turkeys from the fruitcakes.

    ~Argus Hamilton

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    Well I took the boys to a haunted house tonight. We aren't a family that celebrates Halloween, I'm not even sure what is celebrated around this time but the kids wanted to go to a haunted house this year and I saw no more harm in doing that than seeing a scary movie.

Anyways, off we went and I was absolutely horrified at the length of the line out side the place! After I screamed in terror at the price of admission we entered and we weren't even 10 feet in the door and two sets of little hands were all over me. My two brave little warriors turned into quivering little girls as they hid behind Daddy with every dorky scene we passed. I don't know how they saw any of the monsters as their little faces were buried in my legs. If them monsters wanted to scare me they could prove that they can manage a job that doesn't pay min. wage! Here's an idea for a scary scene, you sit down at a desk and some guy from the IRS says he's going to put you through a full audit! Hmm, maybe I'll throw a top 10 haunted scary haunted house scenes.
Anyways, now that were out and back home both the boys are back to their tough, macho, little selves :)

 

 

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  At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child - miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

    ~P.J. O'Rourke 

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Quick logic test

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is complete.

Now ... if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.

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He just opens his mouth and asks.

If you got this wrong, please: do not pass go, and for god's sake, don't breed or vote; just go dig a hole and hide.

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Teresa Heinz Kerry told Dr. Phil she was strict with her boys about TV viewing. She limited them to thirty minutes of educational television a day. Now they are the only kids in their generation who think that the Brady Bunch is a gun control group.
~Argus Hamilton

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Just to be clear!

 

 

Late Term Procedure (7-9 months) Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby's leg with forceps. The baby's leg is pulled out into the birth canal. The abortionist delivers the baby's entire body, except for the head. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby's skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the hole... The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child's brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed ... any questions?

 

 

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    I cannot tell you how deeply I respect the belief about life and when it begins. I'm a Catholic.

    ~John Kerry; (10/8/04) yet he voted against The Partial Birth Abortion Procedure

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Hurricanes vs.Elections

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    The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.

    ~Plato

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Boo-hoo, that's all I have to say.

Big boo-friggin-hoo!

But as George Bush said: You are with the terrorists or you are with America. Now we're getting a pretty clear picture of who is with the terrorists. As George Patton said, I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the b@stards are and can kill them.

~Ann Coulter

Apparantly L.Cpl. Andy Topetzes is upset that he has to fullfill his reserve duty. Fellow Marine Daniel Richards, also on leave from the Iraq attack, has a nice response that he posted to the group:

Hello, I'm brand new to this group and this is my first yahoo account in a few years. I'm also Jamies older brother and I'm home on leave as my tour of duty in country, in Iraq, with the UNITED STATES MARINES just ended. I've PROUDLY volunteered to go back because our job there is far from completed. I will be home long enough that I'll be able to vote on November 2nd, and you all can bet your ass I'm voting for my Commander-In-Chief PRESIDENT George W. Bush. This message is meant mostly for three people.

1. "Lance Corporal" Andy Topetzes, USMC Reserves. To you, you cowardly traitor, if you really do exist and did write the bullshit message that starts here and is continued with the link included, I
STONGLY suggest that you don't dishonor the Corps any longer and resign because you make me and my battalion want to puke. You don't have the right to call yourself a US Marine because you're a disgrace to the uniform and the Corps. Not to mention that you know full well that this "letter" you wrote puts you in violation of the UCMJ, and I hope the Corps prosecutes you to the fullest extent. As for myself, and everyone I've forwarded your letter to, and they in turn have forwarded it to others, let's just say that IF you should ever again show your traitorous face Iraq, and we find out............

2. to "HAH" aka Gaiahemp. You, obviously have a a lot of hate in you for President Bush, not to mention for my brother. I can see why you might hate him, after all, he's REALLY dangerous, he's a gay kid who thinks for himself and rejected the democrat party after the state party offices made it known to him that they don't want people like him. Why?? Because he does think for himself, and that scares the hell out of them.

They want brain dead sponges like you who will unthinkingly believe and follow anything they tell you. Your many posts here prove that you are EXACTLY the kind of gullible fool that Jamie, and our uncle have said you are, and therefore perfectly suited to be a Democrat. But, tell us all one thing if you can. WHY do you hate President Bush so much? What did he ever do to you to deserve this hate? What did this country ever do to you to deserve it?

One of your recent messages makes a point of your anger or outrage over how THE KNOWN ISLAMIC TERRORIST PRISONERS AT ABU GRAHIB PRISON WERE TREATED BY A FEW OF OUR TROOPS. It DOES NOT, however, mention anything about how angry you are at the terrorist cowards who beheaded Daniel Pearl, Paul Johnson, Nick Berg. It DOES NOT say anything about how angry you are at the terrorist cowards who ambushed American Businessmen and burned them alive then hung their bodies on bridges or other places and celebrated over it. It DOES NOT mention your anger at the terrorist cowards who took over the school in Breslan, Russia and massacred
over 300 innocent children and adults before the usiian military went in and ended the seige. Based on your previous posts, I suspect that you are more angry at the Russian Military for ending the seige than you are at the terrorists for starting it. MOST OF ALL, NONE of your posts that I've read, in this group anyhow, says ANYTHING about your outrage and anger at Al Qaida and/or the 19 terrorists that killed over 3,000 U.S. citizens on September 11, 2001. On the other hand, I DO REMEMBER reading one of your posts that Jamie saved where you outright justify the terrorist cowards, mostly FROM OUTSIDE OF IRAQ, who are killing our troops AND INNOCENT IRAQI and/or world CIVILIANS, to keep Iraqis enslaved under people like Saddam Hussein. HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS, AND STILL DARE TO CALL YOURSELF AN AMERICAN?

EXPLAIN IT TO US, IF YOU CAN.

FINALLY, the last person I have a question for is "Howard Scott Pearlman."

Do you have a living brain cell in your head? Do you have ANY ability to think for yourself like my brother, his friends, and the majority of the members of this group do? I really doubt it.

EVERYTHING you've posted, just like everything Gaia has posted, came directly off any number of Anti-American, Anti-Bush websites that I've looked over on Jamie's computer because he has them bookmarked so he can know what kinds of bullshit they're spewing to brainless asses like you and Gaia.

I know this is going to upset you three a lot, but contrary to the brain dead garbage that you repost here from your hate america websites, WE ARE WINNING the war on terror, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, and everywhere else. The fact that the liberal media, who desperately wants Kerry to win only tells us about the bad news will NEVER change the fact that we're winning and the people of Iraq, AND THE WORLD, ARE better off since Saddam was knocked out of power.Get used to it. And get used to the idea of four more years of President Bush because he is going to win re-election.I know of about 150,000 absentee military ballots for him that WILL be counted, no matter how the democrats try to stop it.

~Daniel Richards; USMC

See John, see John kick ass

I just posted a comment on a fellow right-minded site concerning the reelection of Oz's Prime Minister John Howard. To toot my own horn I think it is worthy of being repeated here (hell it's my damn site!):

Notice how silent the media is on this fact, this is a huge win for Bush and foretelling of what's going to happen here in November. Much like in America, Oz had the looney "laft" parading while opperation "Iraq attack" was underway and an all to eager media boosting their numbers as if the masses were yearning to be heard. Well the masses showed Saturday and put the asses in their place! :)

~DaD

A Freedom kiss to our "allies"

The top 10 reasons to hate la French

10. When speaking fast they sound gay when speaking slow they sound gayer.

9. They can still experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.

8.They eat snails.

7. If there's a war they always surrender really early... unless it's a revolution.

6. They test their own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.

5. They're French!

4. Their wine sucks and is overpriced.

3. They think they're great lovers even though they really can't even lay bricks straight.

2. They don't bother with toilets, just shit in the street.

1. Those stupid useless hats!

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A judge in Louisiana threw out a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage this week. The judge said it would be ridiculous for the state to ban gay marriage before it stops
people from marrying their siblings.
~Jake Novak

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Damning adds

    The Swift boat adds don't have anything on these 4 minute documentaries, if the Bush administration weren't so spineless they would buy the copyright and broadcast all three far and wide!

 

http://www.stolenhonor.com/documentary/program-excerpts.asp

 

 

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    George Bush and Laura appeared on the 'Dr. Phil' show this week. Among the questions, Dr. Phil asked him what he thought about the epidemic of oral sex in high schools. I don't know if he understood what he was talking about, because right afterwards, Bush cancelled all funding for Head Start.

    ~Bill Maher

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Well 2S lost his first football game today, DW took him this morning instead of me taking him but I think I'm still more depressed about it than he is.
From what I hear once Coach was down on points he kept running it to thier star back (at this level, ages 6-8, running is 99% of the game) instead of faking and handing it off to 2S (he's already scored one touch down this season by the way). It was just a matter for the other team to shut down that one back.

BUT

I haven't spent the time with the boys like Coach has and don't know the team like he does... something all us parents need to keep in mind when we're on the sidelines cheering on the rugrats. Be thankfuk for those coaches that volunteer their time to show our loved ones how to play a sport!

~DaD

A man who gives a good account of himself is probably
lying.
~George Orwell

2nd Debate

I suppose I should post something on the debates

I wasn't impressed with either side, Bush repeated the same three points like he did the first debate and Kerry had to defend his flip-flopping past the whole time.
As I mentioned to a Brit friend of mine before, what we should do is have them fight with knives. More people would watch and it would allow everyone to see more of what kind of character each hopeful has. ;)

When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a
left boot or a right boot is of no consequence.
~Gary Lloyd

Virus Warning

New Computer Viruses to watch out for!

 Viruses WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these yet!!!

   The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

   The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

   The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

   The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails  everyone about what it did.

   The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

   The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

   The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

   The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

   The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor
   doesn't care.

   The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

   The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

   The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows

 

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    The Emmy Awards had record-low ratings Sunday. Real people don't want to see awards given to pay-cable mob dramas and gay sitcoms. According to the ratings, what Americans like to watch are really good-looking actresses performing autopsies.

    ~Argus Hamilton

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